A/N Sorry this one is short and the entry is kinda stupid, but it gets the point across
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Entry Five
I like to draw with silver. It comes out red. Magic?
No it's called a blade.
A wonderful, magical thing. A razor blade has been my best friend since sixth grade. My wrists are covered in scars. Absolutely covered. I wear so much makeup to cover up those scars. Surprisingly no one has ever noticed them. I finally moved to my hips and upper thighs to hide them easier.
I started in sixth grade along with the eating disorder. Many people found out about it and made fun of me for it. Told me it was only for attention.
It wasn't. But good luck convincing them of that.
This entry is gonna be really long, but I want to share a couple things with you. Maybe it will help you understand better, maybe not. I just want to write them :)
She paints a pretty picture, but the story has a twist, her paintbrush is her razor and her canvas is her wrist. She paints a pretty picture in a colour that's blood red. While using her sharp paintbrush, she ends up finally dead. Her pretty pictures fading, quite slowly on her arm. The blood is not racing through her, she can no longer do harm. She painted a pretty picture, but this story had a twist. Her mind was her razor and her heart was her wrist.
The other one is better I think.
When you cut, the skin around it puffs, red like wine. The blood beads up, perfectly in a crimson dotted line. It tingles and burns at first, but then it feels good, so that's only the worst. Your body is in pain, but your mind is at ease. It feels so good, and your mind asks for one more cut please. One turns to two and two to four. At this point you just keep cutting more. There's no stopping yourself from teh warmness flowing through. Everyone else is happy, so why can't you be too? The blood starts to drip, and roll down your skin. And a smile appears on your lips, from within. When you cut.
Yea long, but I wanted to write them lol.
Still cutting. I just did like an hour ago. It's about all that keeps me going.
"So why did you have to leave early from the party?" Madison asks Monday morning.
"Oh, my dad called to tell me they were on their way home. I couldn't let them know I was out"
"Oh that sucks" Abigal said.
"Yea, I wasn't having much fun anyway"
"Really? I thought Shaun was about to ask you out"'
"I doubt it. He's a senior anyway. He just wants a f*ck buddy. And that will not be me"
"Have you even had sex since you got here?" Sandy asked.
"Nope" Lilly replied not at all embarrassed.
"Are you a virgin?" Trent asked.
"No"
"Then why haven't you gotten with anyone?" Sandy asked.
Cause I'm not a whore like you.
"Because I don't want to okay?" She said with a sickly sweet smile.
Sandy nodded her head and quickly turned away. Lilly is never mean to anyone, but they all know if she shuns one of them, their status will go down quickly.
"Well there's another party this weekend. You comin'?"
"I don't know. I'm not in much of a party mood."
"Well tell us if you change your mind"
"I will"
