New Lightning

New Lightning: Part 2

I sat in the back of my mother's car, silent. It had been like this ever since I got picked up from school and was given a week's worth of suspension with a huge bill to pay for Linsey's injury. Stupid. I was so stupid. What made me punch her? Why? I'll tell you why said a voice in the back of my mind. You couldn't control your anger, that's why. And now, you're probably going to consult a therapist for the rest of your life. It felt like a war erupting in two sides of my brain. One side accused me for the scenario that had just occurred, what seemed like a moment ago. The other, however, made pitiful counterarguments. To top it off, the sleepover with Emily was to be postponed until then end of suspension. Our car pulled up in front of the house. I exited out of the sedan clumsily and glanced up at the familiar blue house aligned within the row of the rest of the houses.

"Um...is dad home from work?" I asked finally breaking the everlasting silence. Mom shook her head as I had expected her to. He never was home from work. It was the only thing he cared about these days. I groggily entered the house. Suddenly Mom began blurting out questions.

"Why, Sarah? Why can't you control your temper? Why did you hit that poor girl?" The last question ended in more if a shout than a question. There was an odd pause that lingered there. I pondered for a moment. The question still remained within my head too.

"I don't know. I've been asking myself the same thing," I replied quietly, acknowledging the shame I had thrust upon myself.

***

The next few days passed by like a blur. Mom gave the silent treatment most of the time and the rest, we discussed my "anger issues."Of course I didn't deny that I did have them. I just wasn't too happy knowing that it was true. One night she had almost suggested for me to consult a therapist to calm my aggressions. Almost. The silence that settled in the house had set a much more gloomier atmosphere. Most days I spent in my room in shame. I kept replaying the scene in Mrs. Smith's office.

"What? Too weak to take a punch?" The phrase would echo in my head for moments at a time. I began to take fear for what the students would think of me when suspension was over. Would they tease me? Or would be more cautious and stay away from me? What if-what if they ran at the sight of me? Questions began bubbling in my head, some too ridiculous to suggest and some too true to admit. Before I knew it, the torturous week of suspension was almost over and the sleepover scheduled with Emily was awaiting me the following night. Instead of feeling overjoyed I was still skeptical of what Emily's reaction would turn out to be. Would she be happy to see me? Would she be frightened to see me? Would she even show up? These questions attacked me as Mom and I (silently) made preparations for the sleepover the previous evening.

As I climbed into my bed, the questions did not cease and it had become a restless night full of tossing and turning.

I answered the door. Emily stood there, dripping wet in the rain that had never come down.

"You monster...I thought you were different," breathed out Emily. The words hurt like a needle being stabbed into my gut. The scene shifted. Now I was walking into the familiar halls of my school. Students clung to the walls trying not even to come within a foot of me as if I had contracted some sort of disease. I didn't blame them. I bumped into a wall without realizing that it was put there. I couldn't get through. I tried to walk the other way, but there was also another wall installed there: I was trapped. Trapped from civilization. How I knew, the question remained a mystery. The walls began closing in, tighter, tighter, and-

"SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS, SPONGEBOOOB SQUAREPANTS! HaHa!" I jolted awake drenched in sweat as my ringtone on my phone rang merrily. I groggily picked up my phone not in a hurry to do so.

AT THE STORE, WILL BE BACK SOON-MOM

It was just a dream, it was just a dream...Though, it was a dream, the scene felt so real...I gazed around the pastel blue room. Dad and I had painted this room once, sharing laughs together in this room, but now it's just me, myself, and I. Most days he doesn't come home, usually rents a hotel room or something of the sort. I suppose it has to do with the location. See, I live in Newark, New Jersey and Dad's work is all the way in the northern section of New York. I don't blame him; I just miss him... Sometimes I feel like Dad lives somewhere on a different planet, like I can never reach him, like he's amongst the stars and I'm amongst the people. Although, he does support us, money-wise. I laid back down, gazing at the ceiling. Now he was never there for me.

***

The rain pounded on the roof tops. Clouds as dark as night formed above. The familiar glistening stars and smiling moon were no where in sight. I stared outside the window, observing the weather. It was easier that way instead of waiting for the agonizing minutes to pass. I just wanted the sleepover to be over with, so that there would only one less obstacle to face after a week long of my absence. I glanced at my clock. 6:57 illuminated through the dim light which created an eerie glow. Ding! My head snapped towards the door. I scrambled towards it and opened the door, staring at Emily soaked from head to toe in her green Abercrombie and Fitch hoodie. She didn't bring a sleeping bag or anything of the sort, but it wasn't unusual; she's more of sister than close a friend. I couldn't help but crack a smile.

"Shut up and let me in. I'm soaked!" I stepped aside from the door and signaled for her to come in. It was the same ol' Emily Smith. She hurried in and plopped herself on the couch desperate for warmth. She caught me staring.

"What you staring at? It's pouring out there if you hadn't noticed!" I chuckled in reply.

"All right. I dare you to go under the pouring rain and for each minute you stand there, I'll pay ya a dollar."

"Deal, five minutes." She stuck out her hand and I shook it greedily, but I really wish I hadn't.

***

I honestly didn't know what I was thinking. It's been less than a minute and I'm shivering head to toe. I glanced at my Quartz watch. Four and a half minutes left. Darn it! I noticed Emily laughing in the window. Yeah, enjoy it while you can. I stared at the ground, regretting the decision of coming out in the foul weather. I breathed out a depressed sigh. I saw my breath drift away until it disappeared into nothing. I glanced back at my watch, paining for the minutes to go by more quickly. Two minutes left. Okay, okay, Sarah you could do this. In the end, you'll get your five bucks and this will be all over. I began to use some helpful techniques to pass the time. I just then realized how long a whole minute was. I guess when you don't count the seconds, you don't really pay attention to them. One minute was remaining. Suddenly I had a giddy feeling, odd it was. I closed my eyes, enduring the last thirty seconds. The giddiness seemed to build up as the last twenty seconds ticked by. Ha, how weird it was to stand. What? What am I thinking? Hee, I'm wet; I should be wearing flip flops. Ten seconds left. This time I didn't have to depend on my watch to know how many seconds were left. It was like my mind was the timer and the watch was just merely a decoration. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. All went black.