Safeway was always known as the family friendly food store
Many considered Safeway underrated, because unlike Weis and Giant, it smelled like flowers when you walked in, and there was a Starbucks inside
Do Weis and Giant have those things?
No
They don't
Among our Dissidians here, Safeway was the superior food store
It was where they did all of their camping shopping
As it was only a mile away from their campgrounds
They always shopped there
Until that dark day
Noctis died
It was a Monday
I think?
Noctis and Warrior of Light offered to go to Safeway together to purchase the day's supply of food
So they began the long trip of one mile in the summer heat
And they weren't seen again until 3 days later
When Warrior of Light came running back in a panic
His horns were broken (though he still looked like he could be in an Alta ad)
And he brought news that Noctis had been 360 drop kicked by a chocobo
Nobody really cared
They were more concerned about this op chocobo that could defeat Noctis
And they've been afraid of going near the Safeway ever since
Next to the tent there's a memorial built by Cecil, Firion, and Terra,
which is commonly vandalized by Ardyn
Nobody knew how to spell Noctis' middle and last name
So it just says "Noctis - Protagonist of FFXV - The newbie nobody really knew"
Every once in a while Noctis is remembered, especially by Warrior of Light, who, over the course of those three lost days, had fallen in love with the 2017 emo boy. They still find him crying in his tent on Mondays.
The mention of Noctis made Warrior of Light lose all sense of motivation
Poor boi...
Terra: No...we must return to Safeway. Or else we will starve
Cloud: would you rather be killed by a chocobo?
Vaan: no no
here we go
see
we send in onion knight as a decoy
and he dies
and the rest of us safely enter Safeway
Onion Knight: i a m t w e l v e y e a r s o l d
Vaan: the weakest die first
Onion Knight: if it's a matter of who the weakest is why don't you use Bartz
Bartz: what???😱😱🖕🏻🖕🏻
Cecil: no, nobody should have to die
We will all face this challenge together
We're the champions, after all
Firion: nicely worded, cecil
Tidus: firiondidyouforgetyouaremyboyfriend
Firion: imsorrytidus
Tidus: whatdoyoumean
Firion: wearentmeantforeachother
Tidus: butfirion
Firion: nomoretidus
Tidus: ;----;
Y'shtola: we must devise an attack plan
Sephiroth: I agree
Cloud: wH aT tHe fUCKK
Sephiroth: did I spook you Cloud
Cloud: ....no. >:|
Sephiroth: I spooked him
Cloud: no you didn't
Sephiroth: be quiet pretty boy
Cloud: you're a pretty boy too
Sephiroth: shhh im more pretty
Cloud: I beg to differ
Come on guys Cecil's the prettiest
Y'shtola: What are you doing here
Sephiroth: I've come to negotiate
Y'shtola: I'm interested
Sephiroth: We're having a similar issue as you. We're unable to access the Safeway because of the chocobo
I propose we team up
Cloud: *grumble grumble*
Y'shtola: yes I suppose that might work
Sephiroth: *smiles*
Cloud: fucking pretty boy thinking he's so great
Sephiroth: least im not angsty
Cloud: you're not angsty???????? r u sure???????????????
Squall: Is it true your mom's dead Seph
Sephiroth: well look at you in on the gossip
Squall: *death stare*
Sephiroth: you're such a joy
Mateus: This doesn't look like negotiating
Sephiroth: already talked. they're gonna help us
Cloud: wait a second—
Firion: aaaaaaaAAAaaaaaaaaaa
Mateus: hello firion
Firion: AAAAAAAAAAAA
Mateus: stop you're hurTING MY EARS
Firion: AAAAA!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Mateus: S T O P???????
Firion: *tackles Mateus*
Zidane: oof
Sephiroth: Shake my hand. To solidify our agreement
Cloud: *spits on hand*
Sephiroth: *slaps Cloud's hand* dont fucking touch me
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Zidane: bro does Firion have rabies or what
Cecil: he's using the power of the wild rose
Zidane: this is why nobody likes final fantasy ii
Terra: I liked it
Zidane: having the unpopular opinion doesn't make you cool
Cloud: final fantasy vii is underrated
Zidane: y'all dense asf
Sephiroth: No more handshake I'm just leaving
Mateus: SEPH HELP ME
Sephiroth: no
Mateus: HE'S RUINING MY MAKEUP
Sephiroth: just buy some more
Mateus: BUT WE CANT GET TO THE SAFEWAY
Sephiroth: that's your problem then isn't it
Mateus: Firion just kill me
Firion: I was planning on it
YOU ARE READING
Dissidia Final Fantasy Tent Camping
Humor(SHITPOST) chaos and cosmos are cheap as all hell they couldn't afford getting the dissidians nice lounging so they're in tents these tents they're a mile away from Safeway which is their only food source but when access to the safeway is threate...
