Dancing For You

Chapter 3

When I wake again, I'm in a hospital room hooked up to monitors and machines with my mom, Adam, Jax and Miles in the room with me. I blink several times to allow my eyes to adjust to the bright lights and try to not freak out because of where I am and not knowing how Gavin is. There's a possibility that they revived Gavin and kept him alive.

"Mom?" I croak out since my throat is dry. Mom and the guys are around my bed instantly. "How's Gavin?" I whisper as she brings a cup with a straw to my lips allowing me to drink the cold water.

As she settles the cup back she gives me a tear filled expression. "Baby, I'm so sorry, they did all they could for Gavin but he didn't make it." As those words leave her mouth, the sobs wreck my body as she gently hugs me to her.

"No, I know he died as the paramedics arrived but they brought him back!" I sob out into her shoulder.

As she gently strokes my head she whispers into my neck with tears falling onto me, "No baby they tried but the bullet went clean through his heart and into your shoulder. You were in surgery for an hour for the doctor to remove the bullet and repair the damage." I sob harder despite the pain in my body, the love of my life is dead because we decided to go out to dinner at the place of my choosing.

His death is my fault.

If I had only picked a different place to have dinner instead of where I had picked, Gavin would still be alive.

"Where's Gavin's mom?" I manage to get out between sobs.

"She's in the waiting room, she said she wanted to see you after you woke up and I told you." I nod in understanding. I don't blame her if she hates me, I allowed her son to die.

"Adam, can you go and let Ms. Crawford, please," she asks him pulling away from me. Adam nod before he heads out to the waiting room. Before they return to the room, Miles and Jax have given me gentle hugs.

Miles is pulling away from me as the enter the room. As soon as my eyes meet Ms. Crawford's, both of our eyes well up with tears. Ms. Crawford comes over to the side of my bed and we instantly hug each other and let the tears fall onto each other. I can hear sniffling from others but I can't pull myself away from the mother of the man I loved who died for me and because of me.

Sometime later, I'm not sure how long we held onto each other and just cried before we pull away from each other with Ms. Crawford sitting beside me on the bed. Ms. Crawford reaches up with her right hand to cup my left cheek.

"I'm so sorry, this is all my fault. If I had chosen a different place Gavin would still be alive." Ms. Crawford's eyes well up again. "I hope one day you can forgive me," I whisper biting my lip to hold the next wave off tears.

Ms. Crawford brings up her left hand to cup my right cheek staring right into my eyes. "My darling A.J. this is NOT your fault no matter what had happened. My son loved you more than anything in his life. I know that he pushed you behind him to protect you and he did exactly that," she whispers.

I open my mouth to argue with her but she silences me by continuing to talk. "Even you and Gavin were only dated for a month before this happened, he was never this happy before you came along and he had thanked me for moving us here. I do not now or will I ever blame you for what happened."

I stare at her for a moment longer before I reluctantly nod my head at what she has said as I take it in. I still feel guilty but I probably always will. "I love your son with all my heart," I tell her sincerely with all my heart causing her to smile weakly.

"What were his late words to you if you don't mind my asking?" she asks hopefully.

"That he loves me and that he wants me to dance only for him, at the performance he attended, I was freaking out and he told me in order for me to calm down, that I was dancing only for him that no one else was in the audience." I can hold back the tears and sniffles any more, for the third time in less than an hour, I'm breaking down in sobs again.