Nothing Important

31

Sometimes I wonder why you're still here,

Staying with someone who's toxic and queer,

Ever since that faithful and stupid little sentence,

My life has been sent into unending repentance.

Down and down into darkness I spiral, 

More and more in distraught and denial,

Dizziness now comes as a frequent intruder,

Emptiness is a constant abuser.

My kindness was killed by anger and violence,

My virginity lost to wild thoughts that bloom violet,

Cowardice took over my brain and my body,

Bravery lost under all of its glory.

I can't live up to my parents expectations and dreams,

I'm not the daughter that they wanted me to be,

I'm a selfish prick if you wanna know the truth,

I'm better off destroying all of my youth.

My negativity is thick and as dark as can be,

Growing and spreading its seeds in the breeze,

Stretching out tendrils to people near me,

Wrapping and pulling them in with me.

My dignity has gone long since I turned a teen,

Buried under self-deprecation and judgemental beings,

I'm overly-sensitive and I always overthink,

Worst of all my anxiety makes me keep hearing things.

You won't ever want to know what I think when I'm alone,

You'll understand why my toxicness often goes unknown,

But I'm here to warn you, to let you know what is wrong,

I'm as toxic as can be, so please, just go.