Clod Writing Games 2018 [Concluded]

April - Prank Wars - Liv

Yea this was a bit short, choppy, and to the point, but I didn't really have any prank ideas. I had to steal em off the internet lmao

Welp, time to bring back an old rivalry

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It was an unfortunate April 1st morning, a time of stupid jokes and pranks. Some enjoyed them, others did not. The Sentinels were in the category that did... at least in the category that enjoyed making the jokes.

After breakfast, Paula Ellis approached a certain rival of hers with an envelope in her hand. She tapped him on the shoulder, and he turned around. "Yes, Ellis?"

Paula spoke in a cold tone. "I'm afraid you are being decommissioned. Please pack your bags and take your leave." She pushed the envelope in his hands.

"Wh-What did I do?!" He demanded. Skew could've he'd been on his best behavior.

"Goodbye, Skew," was Paula's only response as she turned around and left.

Incredibly shaken, Skew headed over to his quarters, sitting on the edge of his bed. Looking at the envelope, he suddenly wondered why Paula felt the need to give him a letter. Curious, he opened it up and read it.

"Skew,

I'm afraid you're being decommissioned from the Sentinels. You are to pack your bags immediately and leave this place at once. I would also like to remind you of today's date. It was an honor to serve with you... not.

Not so deepest apologies, Ellis."

"Oh..." Of course, it was April Fools day. How could Skew forget? "Ellis, you sneaky bastard..." He shook his head, laughing to himself. Skew threw the letter into the wastebasket and left his quarters, thinking of how he should get back at Paula.

---

After training the cadets and other lower ranking soldiers, Paula went to the mess hall. She went into the kitchen area and to one of the cabinets, where she kept a secret stash of Oreos. Ever since Gardola introduced her to them, Paula has been rather obsessed with the cookies and always kept at least one package on board at all times.

Paula grabbed one of the cookies and bit into it, immediately being disgusted when she did. She quickly dashed to a trashcan, spitting it out. Instead of the regular filling that was supposed to be there, it tasted like... toothpaste.

She immediately knew what happened when she heard Skew's laughter outside of the mess hall. Oh she would have her revenge...

---

Skew was walking down the hall awhile later, just minding his own business when he slipped on the floor. He fell face first, grunting upon impact. "What the...?" Skew felt the ground around him and noticed it was wet. Soapy water...

"Sorry, I must've forgotten my wet floor sign." Paula placed one beside Skew, speaking in a tone that wasn't apologetic at all.

"Uh huh, sure you did, Ellis." Skew stood up, brushing himself off. "You keep telling yourself that." He turned around and walked off.

---

Ellis decided to do her reports for the day, so she grabbed her laptop and sat in the mess hall, since it's usually most quiet there. She worked for awhile when she remembered she needed something, so she walked off. A few moments later, she returned to the mess hall, and the first thing she saw was Skew standing nearby with a red solo cup in his hand, and something spilled on her computer... "Skew!" Ellis shrieked. "What did you do?!"

"I-I'm sorry, Ellis!" Skew stammered. "I was walking by and I accidentally tripped--!"

"Ugh!" Paula went to the kitchen to grab a towel, and quickly rushed to her laptop to try to save it. When she dabbed at the substance, it wouldn't come up. "Huh?" She tried again, but it still stayed there. "Wait a minute..." Paula slipped her fingernail under the "spill", and slowly pried up what was on her laptop. "This isn't milk... it's dried up glue!"

Skew only chuckled in response. "So it would seem, Ellis." He drank his real milk from his solo cup, and walked out of the mess hall. Paula finished up her reports.

---

Skew was bored from training, so he decided to unwind with a book. There was a small library on the ship, by Laura's request he remembered, and it was for that reason he had tended to avoid that place. However, reading was a favorite past time of his (since he's had nothing else to do the past several years), so he'd been a frequent visitor there after his return to the Sentinel crew. It was nice to just unwind in a good book... especially ones he remembered were Laura's favorites.

He arrived in the library and scanned the small selection of books available. Skew made mental note to buy more soon, but he was quickly distracted by something sticking out of one of the books... "Huh?" Skew noticed it was the corner of a $20 bill. "Who uses money as a bookmark?" Doing a quick double take, Skew pulled the bill out of the book... or so he thought. It was really just a corner of a bill taped to an index card. There was writing on it: "You suck! (Also April Fools and don't steal. -Ellis"

Skew sighed. "Of course..."

Just then, Paula walked into the library. "Oh, I see you found it."

"Very funny, Ellis," Skew remarked.

Paula just laughed. "I'm not surprised that you would steal money like that."

"Hey, I'm not like that anymore," Skew frowned, getting defensive. "I just... saw it there."

"Uh huh, you keep telling yourself that." Paula smirked at the taller man. "I mean, you've made yourself a track record. What am I supposed to expect from you?"

Skew only sighed. "I guess I can't argue that."

"I mean, your views were pretty skewed back then," Paula laughed.

Skew had turned around to leave, but he paused after his first step. "Ellis... did you just--"

"Yes."

Skew just shook his head. "Good day, Ellis." He took his book and walked out.

---

Paula found herself in Gardola's office awhile latter while the latter one was typing out some sort of report. "So," Gardola spoke, "who do think won?"

Paula shrugged, laughing. "I clearly outdid Skew this year. Yea, he startled me when I thought he spilled milk on my laptop, but I caught him stealing a $20 bill! Of course it wasn't a real bill..."

"Uh huh." Gardola continued typing.

"He did also screw up a few of my oreos, but I tricked him into thinking he'd have to pack his bags and leave! Oh man, it was hilarious!" Paula exclaimed.

"Wow." Gardola chuckled as she continued her work. "What else did you guys do?"

"I put some soapy water on the floor and caused him to trip," Paula said casually. "After I put the index card in a book with the corner of the bill taped onto it, I think he gave up."

"Ouch." Gardola finally finished whatever she was working on. She turned towards Paula and stood up. "You know, I think I'll have to ask you for ideas to help me prank Travis next year..."

"Oh yea, that'd definitely be funny to watch!" Paula smiled.

Gardola nodded. "You should probably advise caution next year, though... I don't think Skew's happy that you defeated him again."

"Nope!" Paula pulled a wrinkled up piece of paper out of her pocket. "Two points for me, and one for Skew..." She took out a pen and marked on the paper. "He got me good that first year, but I've gotten him the past two years."

"Well, good luck," Gardola said as she went to leave her office.

"You, too." Paula walked out, and headed her own way.

Skew was definitely gonna come after her next year.

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