I don't know why I said it and I don't know how my legs are making their way to the stage in the middle of the Square, but it's happening.
"What? Elsie no!" Shouts Robin.
But I'm already on stage.
"I volunteer as tribute!" I say again.
"Well, I guess Miss Elsie Pearce is the female representative for District 12! You can step off stage now, Amy."
I can see that Amy is shaking violently as she clambers down the steps. I also want to shake like a leaf, but I know I can't.
"No. I don't want to see them."
I know I'll break down if I see my family. My father would say how proud Mother would have been of me. Deliah would cry. I can't be weak. I want to, so badly. I want to cry and lie down and go to another world where the Capitol isn't so cruel. Even if I did volunteer myself.
I know why I did it. I know why I had volunteered before I could stop myself.
I want to get away. That's why I did it. I want to get away from District 12. I don't want to get away from Father or Robin or Delilah. Just District 12. I guess I have some tiny, microscopic drop of hope that I may be able to win. I mean, I can find food and shelter. I stay in the woods for days, sometimes weeks, hunting for food in the woods of District 12. I can throw knives. I'm okay at shooting.
I have to provide for Delilah and Father because Father was struck ill a few years ago. It disabled his leg, and he still hobbles. I tried to take him hunting once after his sickness, but he crunched leaves and snapped twigs with every step he took.
If I do end up not making it, Delilah can manage. She can recognize every edible plant and knows how to trade and barter. She's a lost hope with hunting, but if they had to run and hide, she could manage. So maybe it's a kind of win-win for me.
If I win, I get fame and fortune and my life.
If I lose, my family may have to run and hide and they could possibly survive. If I lose, I don't get my life.
Okay, maybe it's not a win-win.
