Ricochet

Chapter Five : Distance

So this isn't edited due to certain assholes bugging me "Get your shit together" here you fucking go. I'm gonna be salty, some people don't understand what "I have problems of my own". I thought I was heartless. Sometimes I don't think you guys know what "I've been diagnosed with PTSD means." But anyway, this might be it for a while, I'm getting tired and I'm having a though time. I need to get my shit together. I might make a new account to start over. I don't know, so I can right smut or whatever, but i don't know.

I don't know what to say anymore so forgive me.

[Eren's POV]

When Annie came strutting in and protected Mikasa from her own brother, it was hilarious. I think Annie thought Levi was hitting on Mikasa. Although it wasn't funny for very long.

"You must be Annie."

I stiffened, it was weird. I didn't know if Levi was calling Annie out or... something else. Annie smirked at him, "I am the one and only." She said and snaked her other arm around Mikasa's middle section. I almost laughed again, it was weird, but I was right. They do look a lot alike. They are like carbon copy's of one another, except for gentiles, haircuts, and most likely personality's. Mikasa was fluffy when you got to know her... Levi seems  like he'd still be a prickly cactus, even if you got to know him. I couldn't tell if that bothered me or not. Maybe I wanted to know him beyond the hard exterior, I wasn't sure. I ignored it and wedged my way in between the three of them. "Hi Mika... I wanted to say sorry for the other day-" I'm cut off by a crushing hug. "You big nerd, you know I can't stay mad at you." I start to sniffle, "I'm sorry!" I fall to the ground, dragging Mikasa down with me as she hugged me. "I know, I know." She rubbed my back. I sighed and laid my head on her shoulder, looking up at Annie, she gave me a little smile and I smiled back. Something about this hurt though... it all hurt and that's all I could feel. The hurt. I complete forgot everyone else was in the room. Mikasa helped me up and brushed me off, her arms still hugging me tightly. Until Levi cleared his throat,
"I'm going to take a walk."

[Time Skip]

I walked down the hallway and slid down the wall, next to a random room. I could feel more tears brim in my eyes. 'What if Mikasa replaces you?' I know I'm useless to her anyway. She could do so much that I couldn't, I could never live up to her. She always set a good example and she always did what was right. I felt stupid in her presence, well I guess I felt that way around most human beings as well. I took my phone out of my pocket and started recording "Hi guys, it's me. I just wanted to say 'hi' and tell you I landed safely." I looked intently at the camera, "It's crazy here... lots of stuff went down today." I look down at my legs. "I may or may not have a panic attack... I just thought maybe if I talked it would settle down a little." I didn't hear or see the door open down the hallway. "So anyway... I'm honestly scared that I'm going to be forgotten by my sister, she's cooler than me, she's better than me and she has other family... her real brother," I sigh and burry my head in my legs. "Its weird, I'm not jealous... all I can think of is the possible outcomes..." I start to snivel more. "What-What if she doesn't need me anymore...? I mean she has him... why does she need me?" I put my face in my elbow. I get up, still not seeing the person who was watching me the entire time. I go downstairs and make my way out to my car. I'll sleep here tonight, I don't want to be up there. I unlock my car and curl up in the backseat pulling a blanket I got from the trunk over me. I locked myself inside and laid down on the seat, my eyes watering more and more. I unlock my phone and play music though-out my car. Billy Joel's 'Piano Man', I loved this song, although it was sad. I laid and listed to it, I could feel the music travel through my veins when I listened to it. I wipe my eyes and start to sing along. I close my eyes and when I open my eyes latter, who knows what time it was, it was pouring down rain. I sighed, I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. So you know what I did? I acted like the mature adult I am, and I sat there... and cried.  I don't know how long I cried for, I just know it was long and painful sobbing. I don't know how  I was going to live with the hurt, but I've lived like this for most of my life, so what was the difference now? The difference was that I wouldn't have Mikasa there for me. She would be with her real brother, with her real family, in her real home. The thought sucked, he realized, but only for him. Mikasa would be happy with her family and Eren would go back to being lonely, but that would be no problem. I  coped before... but for right now,

All I needed right now was the distance...

XxXxXxXxX

I don't even apologize for this. When I write when I'm hurt it depressed this is how it ends up. All depressing and jumbled, but I hope the people who were yelling at me to update are happy now.

Never forget I love most of you :)
~Arin-Kun❤️