Worthless Marriage

PROLOGUE

KINNEY (kay-ni)

"Fuck it," Mahinang bulong ko sa sarili ko. I look like a complete mess. I harshly grabbed my martini at the counter table inisahang inom yun. Gumuhit ang pait sa lalamunan ko pero hindi ko yun ininda. I guess the pain I'm feeling right now is stronger than the alcohol. 

"Fuck him. Fuck my Feelings," I said in a low but deep tone. Bakit kailangan niya akong lokohin? Minahal ko siya ng sobra. For almost six years of relationship, masaya naman kami but then bakit ganito? Bakit nagawa pa rin niya akong lokohin? I guess men will always be men.

"One more shot please," I commanded. The bartender looked at me na para bang nag aalangan. The light is dim but I can clearly see the hesitance in his face. 

Why is everyone seems to move weirdly? God, the damn alcohol is kicking. 

"Ma'am, you're already drunk. I think it'll be better for you to go home," The bartender said which made me pissed. Can't he just do his fucking job and give my damn drink?

"Excuse me?" I raised my brow on him. "Are you going to give my drink or not?" Masungit sa tanong ko. Napabuntog hininga naman yung bartender and then binigay sa akin yung drink ko. I quickly drank my shot and immediately ordered another one. 

As time passes by, mas nararamdaman ko ang sakit. I loved him more than anyone else. Kaya ko siyang ipag palit sa kahit sino at ano. The alcohol is working against me, instead of taking my away from this pain, mas lalo pang pinaramdam sa akin. 

I looked at the dance floor and saw random dudes hitting up with random girls. And then what?  They will just get the girl's attention and then dump them afterward. This is what the club is all about, to give people temporary fun and answer the call of meat. 

"Men," Naiiling na bulong ko sa sarili ko.

Tumayo ako tapos pumunta sa restroom.  I feel so hot, I feel like... I want to end everything. I feel so betrayed and the worst part is that I got this betrayal from my own family. It sucks and it hurts so bad. 

I looked at my self sa mirror. Gulo-gulo na ang buhok ko, even my lipstick. I feel so desperate that I found myself messily searching for the brow razor that I always keep in my bag. 

Kinuha ko yun na tinitigan. This wasn't the first time I had this urge. I am lonely girl even from childhood which made me have this episodes where I feel so empty and vulnerable. The feeling of hurting myself strongly kicked and so I did. Well, almost.

Nararamdaman ko ang luha na tumutulo sa mga mata ko. First, my parents. They never made me feel loved. Palagi nalang si ate. They never made me feel enough.

Nang akmang i-islice ko na ang wrist ko ng may pumigil sa kamay ko. I violently grabbed my arms away from the stranger who interrupted me. 

"Don't." Tinignan ko ang malamig at matigas na boses na yun. Sumalubong sa akin ang lalaking kulay gray ang mata. Saglit akong natigilan habang naka titig lamang sa lalaking nasa harap ko. Marami akong kilalang gwapong lalaki pero kakaiba ang taong nasa harap ko ngayon. Heck! Even my ex was hot but he never made me this stunned. 

"Don't waste your life," Walang emosyong sabi nito tapos ay hinigit ang razor sa kamay ko. Itinapon niya iyon sa trashbin na nasa gilid namin at saka ako hinarap ulit, 

"And mind your own business," Tinitigan ko rin ang mata niya kahit pakiramdam ko ay nalulusaw na ako. There's no way in hell that I'll make show that I'm intimidated to someone. 

"Don't look at me like that," He hissed but I didn't stop. There is something in his eyes na parang magnet to the point na hindi ko kayang hindi tignan ang mga mata niya. His piercing eyes returned the same intensity of stare. Napalunok nang humakbang siya papalapit sa akin. 

The next thing that happened was unbelievable. This stranger in front of me is pinning me on the wall. I found myself snaking my arm around his neck. His body is so toned that I can feel his abs even with clothes on. I felt him cupped my butt cheeks which made my gasp, he took this opportunity to roam his tongue inside my mouth. I can't help it so I moaned. This guy is a good damn kisser!

"I told you," He said as he pulled away from me. The spirit of alcohol gave me courage, so I pulled his shirt again and kissed him. I felt him smirked as he kissed me back.

The kiss is so intense that he only let me breathe for a second then proceeds to kissing me again. I felt him huge hands pulling up my silk top from my skirt, revealing my stick on bra. I felt him stopped for a bit, he looked down at my chest looking confused. I rolled my eyes at him.

"It's a stick on bra," I said. He just shrugged and roughly pulled it away from my skin. Napangiwi ako ng kaunti because of the pressure ng paghila niya but it only lasted for a few second because he started to massage my cherries. I arched my back to him more access as I pull him again towards me, aiming for his lips. He used his fingers to taunt my right nipple which made me moan in pleasure.

His kissed moved to my neck, licking every inch of it. Napapikit ako nang maramdaman ko ang hininga niya sa dibdib ko. I felt him lick the in between of cherries then he started sucking my left boob while massaging the other one. It felt so good.

A few minutes ago, I am having the urge of hurting myself but then now, I am enjoying  a hook up moment with this beautiful stranger. 

The next thing I know is nasa condo na niya kami. Kissing like there's no tomorrow, naked. Parang wala kami sa sarili. Hindi namin inisip kung ano ang kahahantungan ng ginagawa namin.

I never even imagine doing this with a stranger but then the most unbelievable thing happened. We made love. Well, it's not even love.

It was pure lust.

And that one night mistake changed everything. Hindi ko akalain na sa isang pagkakamali lang ay masisira at magugulo ang lahat.

Hindi ko alam na that one mistake will trap me under this Worthless Marriage.

•••

Meet my fugde💞😍

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