MY ONLINE DIARY

sorry

So apparently my insécurités has rosen up. And i cant control it. For any sake its hard to breath when you're already drowned right?

Am pretending to be happy, am pretending to be cheerful as i can be yet i will just shut up so no one will see me or just even notice my breath.

And today im so tired of everything, with college tasks, him, anxiety, depression, insecurities and also my unstable emotion. Suddenly i feel like i just want to blame everything to my self. Even somehow i want to blame my self for Kurt Cobain' s death haha.

Who wants a girl like me? Who wants to know this disgusting thing? Even my parents doesnt want me since the first place. Haha.

I hate being alone, but they make me feel so alone.

I need to go from this dark zone yet.... Its my only world. How?