Jamilton:So This is Love?

Chapter 2

~Thomas POV~

"My dorm mate is Alexander Hamilton...OF ALL PEOPLE!" I was on the phone with James,and for some odd reason Alexander had finally fallen to sleep,my first thought? HEY IT'S A GOOD TIME TO RANT TO MADDY ABOUT HIM!! Let's just say I was very...VERY FUCKING WRONG,mainly because Alex woke up and walked in while I was yelling about him being 'A son of a whore who is just as slutty as his mother and needs to back the fuck off' I mean...I may have overreacted but James knows better than to let me start talking about him,but I really did feel bad when he ran out...I think he was crying? But all I know for sure is that he slammed his door...he slammed it and after about five minutes I heard him crying of pain,it wasn't just regular crying,no...it was definitely out of pain...I felt horrible...

"Alex?...Alex come out I'm sorry...I-I didn't mean it..."

No answer from him...

"Alexander c'mon? Eheh..I have a temper? I'm sorry just come out..."

Again,he didn't dare answer me...

"Alexander please,come on out?"

I got an answer that time...it was a pained whimper and the sound of the door being unlocked,so I opened it, and found Alex sitting on the foot of his bed,clutching his left forearm...he had blood seeping from it,and not just a little of it. 

"'Lex!? What the hell have you done to yourself!??"

Did I...did I call him 'LEX!? I don't care about him...right? Either way I couldn't let him just sit there like that...so what did I do? I sat down on his bed and hugged him,I cuddled him to my chest and told him to tell me why he did it...

He kept himself quiet,didn't say a word to me,but he didn't push me away either...so we stayed like that,for one,maybe two hours before the bleeding had stopped and he finally spoke...

~Alexander POV~

He called my mother a WHORE...he called me a SLUT so I did what I always did...I cut.

I cut one slit. No pain. No blood.

I cut another. A bit more painful,but still no blood.

I cut two more,they were much deeper. Much more painful,and,I finally started bleeding...

I deserved it right? I mean Thomas was completely right about me being a slut,right? I've bounced from partner to partner,like THAT,and I can tell you now I did some very horrid,unforgivable things with people I didn't know at all for money when I had to....

   He's right about you,you slut.

You whore.

You worthless shit.

Go ahead and die!

Why can't you ever die?!

That voice was back...and this time I couldn't push it away,so I cut and I cut and I cut until my whole forearm was blood covered,dripping in the red liquid...maybe it would've killed me if I hadn't mustered up the strength to unlock that door...he came in,and the way his face dropped when he saw the blood,sort of made me feel worse,he looked like he actually cared about me. I mean he had to if he laid in my bed and held me the way he did...but i couldn't talk,even when he asked me to,because I knew I'd fall to pieces...I'd cry,I'd whine,I'd look helpless...and I couldn't let him know that I was.

Eventually I did speak...

"T-Thomas...you shouldn't care why I do this,I'm worthless,alright? You don't h-have to worry about me.."  Thomas shook his head at me and hugged me tighter...so I turned and hugged him right back,I don't know if we cared about each other or not,but that moment sure did feel like we did.

"No Alex,I want to know why you do this to yourself? I want to help..I did make you do this after all,right?" he mumbled as I hugged his neck,I buried into his shoulder,his skin was so soft...and his hair felt amazing against my face,I could've stayed in his lap for forever,but I knew I couldn't,I knew I had to speak,I knew he didn't really care about me at all...

~667 word count~

((Hey dudes!! I hope you enjoyed this updaaate!! <3 Sorry if you guys aren't really into depressing shit,but the next update or two will get sweeter I promise!!))