Lessons Learned

Part 20

"Marco!" Niall yelled, his gloved hands out in front of him as he took cautious steps across the cold yard.

"Polo," I giggled from against the fence. Niall was going in circles, his Supras crunching on the frosty ground as he tried to find me. His nose was bright red from the cold, a few wisps of blonde hair escaping from the blue beanie he had on his head. The scarf he wore around his neck was starting to untangle and if he kept going this way, it would be on the ground in a few seconds.

"Marco!" he called again, stumbling a bit on a frozen clump of grass.

I didn't answer as I crossed the yard towards him. I grabbed the ends of his scarf and tugged him towards me. "Polo," I whispered as my cold nose rubbed against his. Seconds later our lips pressed together as I pulled down on his scarf and forced his mouth to mine. His hands snaked around my waist and pushed themselves into the back pockets of my tight jeans. I stood on tip-toe so I could reach his mouth better as our kiss deepened.

When we separated Niall slowly opened his blue eyes, a smile on his face when he saw me looking at him. He readjusted the white knit cap I was wearing before pulling the scarf of his neck and wrapping it around mine instead. I gave him a quick kiss on his flushed cheek and took off across the yard. Niall ran after me, catching me easily and scooping me up into his arms as he decorated my face with frosty kisses. I crinkled up my nose and giggled as he nuzzled my cheek with his.

"Look!" I pointed up to the dark November sky. Niall followed my gaze, his eyes locking on the snowflakes dancing down from above. The small white flakes began to settle in his eyelashes, drawing my attention to his amazing eyes. He wiped a few of the wet drops off my nose and gave me another sweet kiss before carrying me towards the house.

"It's getting cold," he murmured. "You're shivering like crazy."

I didn't want to leave the snow, so I tried to climb out of his arms. "I don't want to go in." I had never thought I would see a snowfall again. I succeeded in escaping and I began to run, my arms out and my head back. My white hat fell off and my hair streamed out behind me, the frozen flakes catching in my long mane of dark blonde hair. I paused in the middle of the yard, spinning in tight circles as my unbuttoned red coat whipped around my body. I could feel the sharp sting of the snow on my cheeks and it felt wonderful. I stuck out my tongue, letting a few of the precious white masterpieces land in my mouth before I opened my eyes. Niall was watching me from across the yard, a small smile on his face at my obvious joy.

"Come," I opened and closed my hands as I called him towards me. He slowly made his way over, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants as I waited. Niall stopped a few feet in front of me, raising an eyebrow in a 'what you gonna do about it?' way.

I launched myself at him, my legs wrapping around his hips as he took a step back in surprise before his hands went down to support my body. I pressed my lips to his as hard as I could, enjoying the slight moan he let out as my tongue went to work on his mouth. I moved my lips down, gently kissing along the curve of his jaw as his breathing became shallow. His neck arched and I began sucking at the sensitive skin, feeling his hands tighten on my thighs and listening to a few small gasps escape his lips.

"Do you like that?" I murmured against his hot skin, my lips skimming the pulsing beat in his neck.

"Yes," his voice was breathless, so low that if I hadn't seen the cloud of steam escape his lips I wouldn't have realized he spoke.

"Should I do it again?" my tongue flicked out and caught his burning skin, causing a shiver to shake his body as he took a deep breath. I went back to biting gently at his neck, loving the way I could so easily manipulate him. I liked that my touch actually did something to him.

"Let's go inside," he turned and began to carry me towards the door as I continued to kiss up and down his face and neck. I could feel his body shake every time my moist lips lightly touched the heat of his skin. I placed my hands on his cheeks, drawing his mouth to mine as I stole his breath. He quickened his pace, carrying me up the stairs as we continued to make out passionately.

Finally we entered our bedroom and Niall kicked the door shut behind us before dropping me onto the bed. He landed on top of me, pushing my coat off as his tongue desperately searched my mouth. I let out a small gasp as he moved onto my collarbones, sucking gently at the skin there as he pulled down the collar of my sweater. My neck arched, his hands grabbing tightly onto my hips as I involuntarily bucked my body towards his. I wanted to be close to him.

I clamored to get his shirt off, my hands shaking as I tugged down the zipper and let his hoodie fall aside. He continued kissing me, biting and licking my tender skin as I removed his white tee shirt from his person. My hands explored the muscles of his chest and stomach as we rolled about the bed, our breathing heavy and our hearts beating faster than I ever imagined possible. Minutes later his pants and my sweater joined his other clothes on the floor.

He pushed me deeper into the bed, the sharp curve of his hips digging into my body as I grabbed his hair and forced his mouth to mine. I could taste the lust on his lips as we kissed. He fumbled with the button on my jeans, indicating I should lift my hips as he slid them off. I placed a hand on his slim hip, slipping my thumb underneath the cotton of his boxers and rubbing it in small circles over his sensitive skin.

"Belly," he moaned into my mouth, his hand catching mine and pulling it out of his underwear. "Stop."

He rolled off me and covered his face as I sat up in confusion. "What's wrong?"

"We aren't doing this," he shifted to try and hide just how excited he had become from my eyes.

"Why not?" I flipped myself on top of him, grabbing the elastic band of his boxers and slowly dragging the soft cotton down over his hips. He took my hands and pinned them to his side as he shook his head.

"No Belly," he let out a sharp gasp as I ground my hips into him. "Stop."

"Come on Niall," I shifted my shoulder so the strap of my bra fell down. I could see his eyes studying my smooth skin as a battle took place in his eyes. "You know you want to," I purred, leaning down to press my lips to his throat. I kissed my way down as he tensed underneath me, slowly and deliberately trailing my kisses across his jerking hips.

"No, no," he moaned, pushing my head aside and jumping off the bed. He pulled his boxers back up to their normal height and backed away with wild eyes.

"What are you doing?" I pushed my bra strap back up and tried to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach. He didn't want me.

"I can't do this," he ran a hand through his hair. "You're moving too fast. I like when we just lie there and hold each other and not do that," he waved his hand vaguely. "I'm not, I'm not ready," he stuttered. "I don't want to be bad."

"You won't be bad," I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them as I studied him. "Why are you worrying so much?"

"Because you were sexually abused and I don't want to remind you of that. I don't want to sleep with you," he blushed deeply, "I want to make love to you and I don't know if I can or if I'm ready for that. I want to be the first person who actually loves you, not takes advantage of you. And I want it to be special if we do it, I don't want it to just be a rushed thing like this. I want to live in that moment for a long time."

I got up off the bed and went over to him, resting my hands gently on his hips as I kissed him sweetly. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close as I dropped my head to the gentle curve of his neck. He placed his head on mine, ducking his lips to brush along my hairline. "Thank you for understanding," he murmured into my skin.

"No," I pulled back and looked at him with misty eyes as my hand cupped his precious cheek. "Thank you for caring."

He hugged me close again and we stayed that way for who knows how long, our hearts beating in sync as I wondered how my life would ever be able to compare to my death.