The Life In A Teenage Girl's Eyes

Chapter 1: The Past

When I was a little girl, I grew up in a huge town where I had all my friends. Well, at least I thought I had friends back then. In those days when I was in kindergarten through 5th grade, people took advantage of me for my kindness. I had awful grades in school. I wasn't the sharpest pencil in the box. I was smart mature wise, but scholastically, unfortunately I failed. In kindergarten, I had a teacher that horrified me. Her name was "Mrs. Cuggy". Oh, how I hated her so much. She used to point me out in front of the class. I wasn't her "favorite" student because I wasn't (quote) "smart". I got held back 1 year, and I continued kindergarten the following year. My second year, I had a teacher named "Mrs. Landman". She was such a wonderful woman. She was the one that boosted my confidence in the classroom. She didn't tease me whether or not I was smart. My parents always knew that I had it in me, but it took my heart and soul, plus a fantastic teacher to show me what I was capable of. During the 2nd year of kindergarten, I got bullied the slightest bit. Little children used to make fun of my drawings (I'm not a famous artist at the age of 5). Give me a break. I used to come to school looking beautiful. When I went to school, my mother bought me such gorgeous dresses with matching hair accessories. My bedroom (at the time) used to look like a princesses's room because of all the pink things. At the time, I was also into Disney Princesses. Every girls been through that stage in their life. Kids used to tease me because I didn't look (quote again) "proper". How is a little girl supposed to dress? Like I just rolled in mud and overalls or something?! People were strange towards me. Big time. On top of all the drama, I used to come home crying at times because I had this thing called an "IEP". That stands for "Individual Education Plan". It's a plan over the computer that teachers, guidance counselors look over. Almost everyone looks at your plan, and they see what classes you qualify for. Like if you qualify for Speech Therapy, OT (Occupational Therapy), Reading Support) ect. You get the idea. Well, through out elementary school, I qualified for Speech. I always found that class babyish because we worked on things that little kids learn. The alphabet for an example. I felt insulted, dumb, aggravated. Every feeling you can think of, I felt that way. Kids found out that I had Speech in my grade. They had a field day with me. That's when I got more of the bullying. Kids used to go around calling me dumb, or "oh, Ashley's not smart". "Ashley's a dumby". Recess wasn't a pleasant time for me either. I used to be afraid to go down the slide on the playground or some of the jungle gyms. The monkey bars I hated. I didn't like them because I got bruises all over my hand. My hands would cry of pain. Same for my arms. I basically spent most of my days alone. No one let me play their games. I sat on the bench hoping that someone would come include me. But I was wrong. I sat on the bench like I was the school's statue. Like I was a mirage. People completely ignored me. One day, the kids were playing kickball, and of course still and yet sitting on the bench watching everyone scream their heads off. They "accidentally" kicked the ball in my direction and nearly hit my face. They didn't apologize or anything. They just ran over to me. They asked me if they can have the ball. I said "yeah sure" and threw it back to them. I'm not the kind of person to hit someone, but I had the urge to. They stared at me almost as if I committed a crime. Same routine. But different day.