The Life In A Teenage Girl's Eyes

Chapter 10: Me. Myself. & I

I tend to write my feelings everywhere. Not only online (wattpad), but I also write about my feelings in my diary. I do that from time to time. We all know what it feels like to keep your feelings to yourself, and think things through, right? I do it all the time. In the furture, I plan on becoming a therapist, or a Pediatrician. I thought about those jobs because I make people feel better about themselves, and boost their confidence. I planned on becoming a Pediatrician because I love children and the medical world is really interesting. That's basically my life, but in a different format. Meaning, I am (a great amount of time), surrounded by little kids. The therapist comes into play because my friends always come to me for opinions and advice about anything that's on their mind. I feel special to know that my friends could always trust me with anything. Even though I don't necessarily remember all the secrets that I have been told (which is probably a good thing), I certainly remember that I NEVER told anyone. I hate those types of people that go and tell everyone what they were just spoken to. Like, shut your mouth! That happened to me a million times in my life, and many more embarrassing moments to come. (I hope not). I was always complimented with this "You would be such a great babysitter". Thanks for the compliment, but every time I think about that, I say to myself "People don't want me". I advertised a lot, and unfortunately it didn't end so great. I tried getting neighborhood jobs but I'm not 16 years old yet. That's another bummer about being ages 15 and under. See at this very moment, I'm 15 1/2 years old. How come they can't hire me now? I'm literally 5 months away from being 16. That's ridiculous. I want a job so badly to get out of the house. I feel like it would be a attention grabber. To keep me busy. I keep myself busy with my friends anyways, but you understand what I mean. I also find that working is fun because you can't wait for that moment to come home with your 1st paycheck! I can't wait for that day to come. When you have money, you have to be mature about it. Me, I am still learning from some previous mistakes that I have made. We are all guilty of receiving money, and then the next minute, we spend it all on such stupid things. I am a witness to that for myself. As soon as I got money, I spent it on small toys, small dolls. Things that weren't important. When I was little, I had a glass piggy bank. We all had one im sure with our names painted on it. Well, I had so much money in that bank. Well over $100. I was stupid enough, to make my parents go into my piggy bank, and grab as much money as I wanted. I went to the you stores, and bought all the toys that were popular then. Disney princess dolls, accessories, Barbie accessories. You name it, I bought it. My mother always told me to save your money for bigger and better things. (Very little keep for play when you go hangout with your friends). Which is totally true.

The Present: I still write in my diary. Not as much as I used to because I have to keep hiding things in my room without them being exposed. I have drawers, but the only problem with that is I have clothing in more then 2 drawers. (I have a huge wardrobe). I have to find a clever place to put it. As you already know, all personal things are written in there. I write about my family, my friends (sometimes). It's mostly about my family. Good and bad things. Once in a while, it's about school as well. If it is about school, you would see teachers mentioned, and annoying classmates that I may have. There were times also when I thought that I needed a therapist to talk to (a personal one). I wanted to grow up and become a therapist to help other people, meanwhile, I got a lot of problems on my own. How am I going to handle talking to other people and taking care of their problems?? That's going to be one hell of a job. Extremely difficult. Hey, I guess there are professional therapists out there that have problems too. Maybe their philosophy is "well, I'm going to help people, and by a slim chance, maybe it will help me too". I could kinda see where they're come from. If I don't become a therapist someday, that's acceptable too. Cause after all, things happen for a reason.