The Life In A Teenage Girl's Eyes

Chapter 4: Letting Go Of Music

Here I am today. I am almost through my years at elementary school. I had orchestra lessons every Thursday. It was slowly coming to an end. I loved my orchestra teacher so much. Her name was "Mrs. Kronowitz". She was a fantastic teacher. She was the only one that didn't give me a hard time with anything. Although, there were times when she got mad at me because she knew that I had it in me, but sometimes I didn't try. I didn't try as hard as I should have in the beginning because it was difficult for me. She saw the fear in my eyes every test I took of hers. Some of them were challenging because I either had to play a whole song, or I had to play a small sequence. We were sitting in a row. One by one. When my turn came, I literally froze in my seat. I wanted to get up and walk away. Never come back. Mrs. Kronowitz did get mad at me because again she had A LOT of faith in me. Kids used to make fun of me about that too (not going to get into specific details). Every night, I would literally come home almost in tears. I looked at my violin, and I kept saying to myself "I am never going to succeed with my instrument. I'm a failure". My mother kept pressuring me to keep up with my instrument. I tried so hard, but I honestly couldn't handle it anymore. Pressure doesn't go well with me. It's my worst enemy. In the end of my elementary school life, I finally got better in the grades of 5-6th grade. Unfortunately, I couldn't play it in middle school anymore. I couldn't play anymore because of scheduling purposes. My mother and I were devastated with the end results. I was disappointed because I really was looking forward to playing it in middle school. I wanted to impress the new teachers. Instead, I spoke to Mr. Esposito before I started middle school. He said that I can take chorus. So I said "well it's better then nothing". Id rather have chorus then general music. Nothing against it, but it's my opinion. If I had to choose which teacher I miss more from elementary school, I would say Mrs. Kronowitz. She was my inspiration. She was my role model. When 6th grade came along, I was tearing. I had such a hard time adjusting to my middle school. I miss her terribly, but I will make every effort to come visit her.