Frack, I'm Falling.

Chapter Three: Numb

Destiney's POV:

I kissed her on the cheek. I kissed her! That's awesome! But, she didn't even acknowledge it...

Maybe it was for the best. I mean, when we finished our time in the photo booth, she kind of just stood there. Clearly, she was shocked. What I couldn't decipher was whether she liked it or not. For the rest of the day, we just played games and ate again, nothing was too awkward.

I guess the only awkward thing that happened that day was the fact that she looked pretty nervous, worried even, after the photo booth. She seemed to try and avoid me at random, and when I asked her if she was okay, she'd say she was fine. Honestly, I didn't believe her, but I didn't wanna force her into telling me anything she didn't want to. In the end though, she said she had a great time. Which for me, is definitely a plus-1!

Now, here I am, bored out of my mind and replaying the cheek-kiss I had given Soley a few days ago. Really, what I want right now is to just be with her. Even if it's just a simple walk in the park or friendly hangout, all that matters to me is being with her.

Suddenly, as if the universe had answered my prayers, my phone buzzed. I shoot up from off my bed(Yesss) and quickly turn on my phone. I smile at the contact name appearing on my screen. I know it's a bit much, but who cares?

Beautiful, Perfect Angel That I Am Deserving Of: Hey, uh, wanna hang out?

Me: Yeah! Definitely! I just wanna spend the rest of my day with you <3

Well, that's what I want to say.

Me: Sure! Where and when?

Is what I actually put down.

Soley: My place in 15 minutes. Is that fine with you though?

I can feel my heart race in excitement.

Me: Sounds great! See you in a few <3

I press 'send' without even realizing the heart I added at the end. My eyes widen. No no no no no! I begin to mentally scold myself, feeling as if this is the worst mistake I made in my life. A mini panic attack makes its way to me as I try to cover it up.

Me: Didn't mean to send you that heart, I meant to send that to my aunt but I got mixed up with your name.

I facepalm myself, realizing that so-called 'cover up' doesn't sound believable at all!

Soley: Oh. Okay.

I sigh in relief, trying to calm my mini panic attack.

Me: So do you have anything planned when I get there?

Soley: I do, actually. There's someone I want you to meet.

Me: Okay.

I turn off my phone and quickly try to find something nice to wear. "Maybe this is my chance!" I think to myself. I begin to imagine myself confessing to Soley, with her agreeing happily and kissing me out of joy. I smile at this thought. Grabbing my gray, Teen Beach Movie jacket, I quickly make my way to the door.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I knock on her door, anticipating to see that beautiful smile of hers. I can finally tell. I will finally tell her. Today's the day! After waiting at her door for a few seconds, I'm greeted by Soley's admirable face.

"Hey." I say smiling, eye to eye.

"Hey, why so cheery?" She asks chuckling.

"Oh, no reason, just having a good day!" I finish, continuing to smile.

With that, she steps aside, allowing me to enter her house. I've been here so many times before, that by now, I knew exactly where her room was. I made my way up the stairs and over to it, with her trailing only slightly behind me.

I take my turn to step aside now, and let her open the door. It is her room, after all. She opens it and steps through the doorway, with me on her tail. On her bed, cross legged, sits a short haired, blonde girl. She flashes me a smile.

"So you're Destiney?" She confirms.

I nod my head and she continues.

"I've heard a lot about you. She speaks very highly of you." the girl says, indicating towards Soley.

I smile. Wow? Really? She probably definitely likes me.

As I near the bed, the girl continues to speak. "Oh, I'm Ohana by the way." She says, holding out her hand for me to shake.

Formal, much? I reach my hand out anyway and return the shake. Immediately, I see why Soley is friends with Ohana. She's actually really cool.

We hang out and watch movies for maybe an hour and a half, before I get up from the bed that we were all sitting on.

"I'm gonna go use the restroom. Be right back."

I walk to the bathroom, already knowing where it is. I hastily relieve myself, wash my hands, and exit the bathroom. I rush down the hall, not wanting to miss too much of the movie.

As I reach the already ajar door, I begin to speak.

"Did--?" I cut myself off when I step in the room and watch my world crumble before my eyes.

Sitting there on the bed, no longer in the same place as when I left, sat Ohana and Soley. Sat Ohana and Soley, fingers intertwined. Sat Ohana and Soley, lips locked.

They sat together, my love and a mere stranger, showing affection. Not friendly affection, but romantic.

I stand here, looking at the two, as tears begin to form in my eyes. I try my best to hold them back and I enter the room. At the sound of my footsteps, they pull apart, both lips and hands. Soley looks at me with wide eyes.

I glance back up at her, feeling a crippling pain erupting from within my chest. I head over to where I had taken my shoes off and pick them up from the carpet.

"I have to get home." I said, hurriedly rushing to leave the room.

Seconds before I exit, Soley begins to explain. Explain that they are in a relationship and have been for weeks now. How am I just now meeting her?

I sprint down the hall, down the stairs, and out of the front door. The moment I'm outside, I burst out in tears. Not sobbing, but rather silent, continual tears.

I make my way home, hurting more that I ever have before. After some time, the pang in my chest becomes so strong that it vanishes. Numb. Numb is what I feel.

I walk myself all the way back to my house, feeling nothing, seeing nothing, hearing nothing. I know the sadness is there. I know it, but I just can't bear it, so in return, my body falls to numbness.

I can't decipher what hurts more. The fact she didn't tell me, the fact that she did it at all, or the fact that she didn't follow me out of that door. She left me, to hurt. To cry. To break.

She was my world, and I just watched her fall through my fingers. Most will care of their own lives. Their lives, and their lives only. That's what they consider their worlds, but not me. My world was her. That one girl that I had no chance with.

I enter my room, and fall onto my bed, tears beginning to stream down my face, once more. I can only think one thought.

I lost her. I lost her because I was too scared to admit that I loved her; that I still do. I lost her because of me. I have nobody to blame, except myself. Now that, that is what think hurts the most.

She didn't care enough to go after me, to follow me out of that door, just as much as I didn't go after her. I didn't even try...

I'm to blame for my own pain.

It's all my fault.