The Little Black Book for Girlz: A Book on Healthy Sexuality

Pregnancy Interview

Interview by Hilary Quigley with Denah Smith, B.Sc.N., Registered Nurse

Q. What are some ways of NOT getting pregnant?

A. The best way to be sure to not get pregnant would be to not have intercourse. There are many pleasurable sexual activities that couples can enjoy without the risk of pregnancy. If you ARE having intercourse, make sure to use a birth control method—such as the Pill or a vaginal contraceptive, such as a diaphragm or vaginal foam as well as a lubri- cated latex condom—to help prevent pregnancy.

Choosing to engage in sexual activity carries with it a lot of responsibility and there are consequences to these actions, not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. It is always best to gain as much information as possible before making these choices.

Q. What role do drugs play in getting pregnant?

A. When you are drunk or high, your ability to think straight is altered. Your judgment is not always clear and you may get caught up in the moment and not think ahead to how important it is to insist on using condoms and birth control. Young women can also be at greater risk of being sexually assaulted when they are high or drunk. Often couples forget about using birth control and put themselves at risk for pregnancy or STIs. You might also have sex with someone that you wouldn't have if you had been sober.

Q. How can you find out if you're pregnant or not?

A. You may feel tired, have sore breasts, or experience frequent peeing or vomiting. But the only way to know for sure if you are pregnant is to take a pregnancy test when your period is late. You can do a home pregnancy test or be tested by your doctor or at a clinic. Home preg- nancy test kits are able to detect a hormone in your pee that confirms whether you are pregnant or not; these can be used as early as a week after a missed period. Results are confirmed within minutes. Your doctor or a clinician at a clinic can do a blood or urine test to confirm the pregnancy. (See resource guide at the back of this book for infor- mation on how to find places to be tested).

Q. Is a condom 100% safe?

A. A condom is 97% safe as protection against STIs (like HIV) and pregnancy as long as it doesn't break, leak, or fall off, and as long as it's used consistently. KEEP IN MIND, condoms do not protect you from all sexually transmitted diseases—such as genital warts. You can never expect a condom to always protect you or your partner, therefore it is also recommended to use condoms that are lubricated with spermicidal (sperm-killing) gel to increase protection.

Put the condom on before the penis touches the vagina. Men leak fluids from their penises before and after ejaculation. Pre- ejaculate ("pre-cum") can carry enough sperm to cause pregnancy.

It can also carry enough germs to pass sexually transmitted infections. Use a condom only once. Use a fresh one for each erection ("hard-on"). Have a good supply of condoms on hand.

Condoms usually come rolled into a ring shape. They are individually sealed in aluminum foil or plastic. Be careful — don't tear the condom while unwrapping it. If it is torn, brittle, stiff, or sticky, throw it away and use another.

Q. Is there a higher risk of a girl getting pregnant when she is on her period?

A. A lot of young women think they can't get pregnant if they are on their period. It is less likely that she will get pregnant, but new ovulation can begin before the end of your period, so it is possible to get pregnant.

Q. How can recreational drugs affect your pregnancy?

A. If you do things like smoke weed/pot/marijuana/hash or drink alcohol, it could hurt the baby. Drugs and alcohol are passed on to the baby when you are pregnant. It is very dangerous! If you smoke cigarettes while you are pregnant, it raises the baby's heart rate and can result in low birth weight, which can result in further health problems for your baby. And even one drink of alcohol can increase the possibility of irreversible birth defects from fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS).

Q. How does having a baby as a teen affect your friends and family?

A. It can have a huge effect on friends and family. If you are responsible for your child, your life will change drastically. Whether you continue school or work, there are many childcare issues and costs. Your social life will change. Babysitters will be required and they are not cheap. Often families are angry and may ask the mother to leave the house. There are also some families that work together to raise the child. There are many emotional and financial issues, not to mention the long term-effects, such as employment later on in life. A lot of young mothers haven't finished growing up and developing as people them- selves and they need help with parenting skills.

Q. Why do teens get pregnant?

A. There are many reasons why teens get pregnant. They may not have the knowledge, money, or access to birth control information that they need. They may not be able to use birth control for religious reasons. They may be having unprotected sex to please their partner or to rebel against their parents. Often it is an accident—the condom broke, they forgot to take their Pill, or they may have been raped.

Q. If a young mother decides to put her child up for adoption, how can she stay in touch with her child?

A. Usually when a mother gives her child up for adoption, she will not know who the adoptive parents are and they won't know her either. In an "open adoption," the birth parents and adoptive parents agree on periodic contact—where they can arrange times to meet and visit. If it is a "semi-adoption," then the birth mother would be allowed special visitation rights and would be allowed to send cards and letters and make phone calls. Otherwise the birth mother is not allowed to contact the child. When the child gets older, the child can try to contact the birth parents.

Q. What role should the father play in all of this?

A. The father of the child should be around to support with money, comfort, and love. He should not leave all the work up to the mother. He should be there and have equal responsibility with the mother. Often the father does not take part in all this. The court may order him to contribute financially to the child. Sometimes the situation is very complicated (for example, in the case of rape, or unknown father) and having the father involved is not possible.