Take This Life / Daniel Ricciardo

Chapter 3

Panic attacks and stuff like that at the beginning, so if it triggers you, then just skip it.

The next few days were actually quite busy coz I was studying more and more since the Belgium GP was closer and closer and I was supposed to take Eric's job there and see how I'd do.

It was currently Thursday and we all were trying to set up the pit, cars, computers, etc at Spa. There was a lot of work and I was utterly drained by two hours of that, but I continued and ignored it. Good thing was that we actually managed to set up almost everything and the only thing was to put the cars in one piece.

I was sitting on my chair right in front of the Red Bull's garage sipping my water. I was looking at mechanics screwing little pieces to Daniel's car, some of them (mechanics) were actually my dad's friends, so they were waving to me from time to time. I was giggling at them and waving them back, of course. Also I was supposed to actually get into the car later to see if everything was ok and like Daniel liked. Woho, the fun of being the race engineer.

I was actually quite excited to get into the F1 car and to see how does it feel to sit there so I couldn't wait for that. I decided to get up from my seat and to look closely at the car since almost everyone of boys had already done their job, so I wouldn't interrupt them.

I walked silently into the garage and started to look at the car. You could see it was still standing on jack and it didn't have the front nose put on. It also didn't have any tyres put on, so you could see the brakes up close. I was quite impressed and amazed by the work of guys as I was looking more and more at it. I put my hand on the cockpit and touched the seat, steering wheel that was laying on it. It felt slightly weird but amazing at the same time. I moved to the wheels and kneeled to look at those big, metallic looking brake pads. They were absolutely stunning and looking so complicated. It was unbelievable to think those things could handle such stress and still do their job.

I moved next to look at the engine that was visible behind the cockpit, coz there weren't any back panels put on. It looked so complicated but at the same time so amazing and interesting. Every pipe was so cramped together and there was no space at all between them. I was so into it that I didn't realize when I started actually silently crying. I quickly took my place back at the chair and hid my face into my palms.

I really had no idea why I was crying and what triggered that, but at the same time I just couldn't stop it. I was really confused at my behaviour and my state. I couldn't stop the crying, so I decided it was a good idea to go the bathroom to calm down there and not to scare people.

When I got up, trying really hard not to cry, I noticed another thing - I was actually dizzy and my head was spinning and I felt like I was floating. Well hello panic attacks, I hadn't seen you in a long time. I struggled to move any further, so I somehow crawled to a chair in the corner in the garage, so I wouldn't be as visible. I curled myself into a seating ball and was slowly rocking forwards and backwards to try to calm down. Unfortunately it didn't work at all coz the though of suffocating and dying was blinding everything else. I could feel my throat closing and my head being dizzier and dizzier by every minute and I just didn't know how to stop it. It was definitely one of the strongest attacks that I'd ever had.

I was so freaked out and scared that I hadn't even realized that I felt someone's hands on my shoulders. I wanted to flinch at the contact but I just couldn't coz of my state. I felt being pulled up and hugged to somebody, my legs weren't functioning, so that person had to hold me really tight or I would fall down. I also heard some noise and voices like someone was talking to me but I couldn't understand anything.

The next thing I knew, after I opened my eyes when I finally calmed down, was that I was still in somebody's arms and was given a bottle of water. When I realized that I was so close with a person, I tried to pull myself up and take a distance, but the person couldn't let me. I sighted at it and drank the water. When I tried to see who was the poor guy or a chick that decided to take care of me, I nearly spat out the water. It was Daniel. It was the middle of afternoon, so I was double confused why he was there.