Unspoken Words

4 ~ His Mind

(I know this clip is a ref to Steven U / yeah, great show)

Tord's Pov

What's the difference between being asleep or awake? I can't tell anymore.

The only way I can really know if I'm sleeping is by seeing myself in third person. In my nightmares...

I can feel his presence. I know here's there, taking care of my well being in the real world.

In this dream scape is the only way I can reflect on my life, collecting my thoughts. I call them nightmares because all that I think about now is how worthless I am. Not hentai. I've been blind enough to forget what that even looks like.

I forget what my family looked like. Edd and Matt...

Tom, at least, I'm still have a faint image of. Some basic features he has, I'm able to keep.

Why Tom? I'm not to sure. Maybe it's because he's my killer in a way.

Technically, he'd take away my sight, my hearing, and my ability to speak. Or it could be because I've shown so much strong emotion towards him before.

Or it can possibly be - and I haven't gave this idea much thought - but what if I actually like him?

All this 'hatred' I act towards him before, isn't hatred, it's me unsure of how to express my interest.

I'd never taken the time to get to know him after all these years. Now that want to, I never will...

What's the point of life now?

I'm in my late 20's, still young, and I refuse to live the rest of my life like this. Locked away from the real world.

I need to get some sense back, some way. Or I'm just going to kill myself...

And...
I don't even think I can do that.