I surrender

A dream- updated

I shot up in bed faster the a rocket. John was beside my bed with a cloth and a bowl of slightly pink water. His hand was hovering above the bowl as though he was going to reach towards me.

"What time is it." I demanded instead of asked in my hoarse, sleepy voice.

"Uh," he looked over at the clock before giving an answer. "1 a.m ish." when did I fall asleep? last thing I remember was kissing john. Was it a dream?

"This is going to sound odd but when did I fall asleep?" he sighed sadly and put the cloth and bowl off to the side.

"About 7:30 I think." 7:30! What the hell.

"What happened." I asked, noting that his clothes from yesterday are lying in the shower and John is now in his boxers.

"You left dinner when that asshole Anderson started to bitch about you and me being gay. As if." he rolled his eyes and my heart shattered. Why would it do that! I don't love him. Do I?

"Anyway, you left dinner and I waited a few minutes before leaving cause, ya know, Anderson. That was the biggest mistake I could have made." he let out a strangled sob and put his head in his hands. I gently placed a hand on his shoulder so he knows it's okay. He lifted his head and his eyes were red and puffy as though he had been rubbing them repeatedly.

"Oh sherlock I'm sorry." he sighed and I became more confused.

"John it's alright. What happened."

"I ca-came into the hallway and found you kno..." he stopped to regain his composure. "I found you unconscious and a group of boys were running away. You got beat up sherlock." Suddenly all of the events came back to my head and I remembered everything, not my dream. John was currently sobbing of guilt and I didn't really know how to make him feel better. I slide off my bed and looked at John.

"It's okay, it's not your fault. It the behemoths who don't deserve to live fault."

"But I could have prevented it."

"Oh john, if you were there you would be beaten up too."

"I guess. You promise you not mad?"

"I promise. I can't stay mad at my only friend." His eye lit up slightly and he smiled.

"Thank you sherlock. I've only known you a day but your my only real friend too." I took my turn to smile back and realized how tired I actually am.

"I'm quite exhausted, do you mind if I go to bed?" John asked before I got a chance.

"Go ahead. I'm going back to bed too. See you in the morning."

****

I woke up to a blaring alarm clock and John groaning.

"It's 7:30 already!?" he groaned as he smacked the alarm clock, shoving his face back in his pillow. I chuckled slightly and got out of bed.

"I'm going to have a quick shower, I'll wake you up if you fall back asleep."

"Mmmk sherlck." he slurred sleepily. Grabbed today's clothes and walked into the bathroom to meet johns clothing.

"John, why are your clothes in the shower?" he untucked his head and laughed sleepily at me.

"You kinda threw up on my when I was carrying you back here." Suddenly embarrassed, my face flushed and I shut the door quickly causing John to laugh loudly.

I moved his clothes from the shower to the sink and turning the water on hot. I wasn't really going to take a shower, I just need to think. I wet my hair then let the steam fill the room. I cleared the mirror and lifted my shirt. My chest was decorated in purple and blue and a deep red cut painted my normal, ivory skin. That must have been why John had a cloth and bowl. I quickly changed after I turned off the water. I left the bathroom ready to face the day to find John asleep again.

He looks so adorable when he sleeps. Adorable? Do I have feelings for John? Do I love john? No I can't, can I?

I set johns alarm clock for a minute past now and left the dorm. I need to know what love is.