Three weeks | Jeon Jungkook |

Day nineteen

Today I woke up too soon so I just came to the shop to buy some supplies. The huge market is filled with different stuff, from food like sweets, snacks and vegetables to home supplies and accessories. After I fill the basket with everything but healthy food, I make myself way to the house accessories. It's not that I want to but to get to the counter I have to pass through that ile. As I walk between the big shelfs, some orange lanterns catch my attention. I kneel in front of them, searching for the price tag. After I find it and see the price, I realize that they are very cheap. And very big for a price like this. I grab two and start walking for the counter again. After I stay in line for just some minutes, my turn comes. I throw all the groceries in a plastic bag, and after I pay the cashier, I take them and leave the supermarket. I sigh when the light fresh air hits my face, making my muscle to relax instantly. I hate how the days pass. I hate that my story with Jungkook is about to end. I hate that I've let myself fall for him, even if I knew that everything between us will end on his birthday.

I sigh, starting to walk down the street. As I walk for more than 5 minutes, heading for the usual roof top, I take my phone out of my pocket, dialing Jungkooks number. After I wait for what seems like an eternity, he doesn't pick up, leaving me dumbfounded. I let the phone to fall in the groceries bag, between the snacks. I start to walk faster, just wanting to lay down on the blanket and sleep in the warmth of the day.

###

I manage to get on the roof top with my bags as well. I let them fall on the blanket, laying down right next to them. As I close my eyes Jungkooks face pops in my mind. His bunny smile especially. I want to forget about him. I want to be indifferent but I can't. I care to much about him. He is so different. He is nothing like the boys I've met in my entire life. Just my brother was like him. Carrying. Sweet. Loving. Loving.

I sigh as I place my wrists over my eyes, blocking the light to get trough my eyelids. I hate myself so much. I hate myself because I couldn't spend so much time with my brother. I was so careless with him. He would always pull me into different activities for the both of us, and I would just roll my eyes at him. How could I've been so stupid? He was my brother for fucks sake. Because of what happened to him, I'm always afraid when I get inside my car. I'm always afraid when other cars pass me. Because that's how he died. He was just hit by a car, the driver of it being drunk out of his mind. And my brother did nothing wrong in his entire life. When I was little I dreamed of marrying him. Yeah. I know. Creepy. But he was perfect. Any girl would have been lucky to be his girlfriend. This is not fair. He had to fall in love, to get married, to have kids. To be the best father in the entire world. But, like the saying is: When you go in a garden you always pick the most beautiful flowers, not the dry ones. And my brother was the most marvelous, big and colorful flower in the entire garden we call world.

Just now I realize that uncountable tears started to fall from my eyes, getting my wrists wet. I try to abstain them, but it's not so easy. When ever I would think of him, I would start crying without even feeling like doing so. It's just and involuntary thing.

My line of thoughts get interrupted when my phone starts to ring silently, making the thin material of the bag to shake. I sigh as I sat up, searching trough the groceries for it. After I find it I glue it to my right ear, answering first.

" Yeah?" I ask as I pull my nose, the annoying sounds filling the entire rooftop.

" Hey. It's me. Sorry I didn't answer. I was taking a shower." Jungkook excuses himself. I start to blush when I imagine Jungkook naked, taking a hot and steamy  shower.  A huge lump forms in my neck when I realize what I've just done. I never blush when I think about someone naked. I've seen more naked boys than any girl in Seoul. I start to cough lightly, trying to make the lump fade. " Is there something wrong?" he asks me right when I stop coughing.

" No. I just almost drowned on some juice." I lie laughing, trying to sound as realistic as I can. After some more fake coughs I stop, letting Jungkook to finally speak.

" Be more careful. So. What is the plan for today?" he asks me, but I remain fixed on his worried sentence. God. Please stop carrying about me. That's the last thing I need. I just want to forget about you, about the feelings I have for your stupid ass, about you beautiful face.

" I'm on the rooftop we were two days ago. You can come along if you want. If you don't we can go somewhere else." I say shyly, trying not to sound desperate. You are desperate. You try to make everything good for him and not for you. Where did your indifference went?

" Oh. Okay. I'll come there, no problem. Should I bring something?" Jungkook asks. I start to think for some seconds and, in the end, I realise what I'm missing.

" Just bring a lighter." I tell him silently as I lay back on the soft blanket, looking up at the blue sky filled with big and white clouds.

###

" Why do you need a lighter for anyway?" Jungkook asks as he pulls out from his pocket a yellow lighter, which look cheap as hell. I bet he just bought it 5 minutes ago. Well I don't see why he would need a lighter anyway.

I grab the lighter from his hand, sitting down on the blanket. I pull out from my backpack a piece of paper and a pen. I rip the small paper in two pieces, handing Jungkook one of them and the almost empty pen.

" My gramma would always say that if you write down your emotions or thoughts that keep haunting you, and burn the paper, you would feel so much better. And it really works." I smile as I look up at him while my hands search in the backpack for another pen.

" Wow. Really?" he laughs as he kneels down in front me. I look down at my lap where my backpack sits. After I find one more pen in it I take it off my lap, placing it next to the groceries bags. I look up at Jungkook which just stares at me with the most confused expression ever.

" Come on. Write something down." I giggle as I take my half of paper and start to write in a position in which Jungkook can't see.

I hate what I feel for you Jungkook.

I fold the paper as much as possible, as I look at Jungkook which does the same.

" And now what?" he laughs as I get up, looking in the bags for the lanterns. After some searching, I pull them out and place them in front of us. " Wow. I never lit one of these." Jungkook smiles as he confesses, making me do as well. Stop being so sweet. God. I should be the one that should stop thinking about him being sweet.

Jungkook gets up, grabbing one of the lanterns. We both walk to the edge of the rooftop, in one hand holding the little folded paper and in the other one holding the lanterns. I take out the lighter, getting prepared to light the lanterns on, letting them fly like a bird of the sky. But before I do that, I place the small paper in the little place where it should be lighten. Jungkook does as well, making me very curious. I really want to know what did he wrote there. Is it about me? Or am I just to full of myself?

I ignore my own thoughts and just lite the lanterns. We both look up at them as they lose themselves in the beautiful sky. With the corner of my eye I look at Jungkook which stares at the lanterns that are almost gone behind the tall buildings.

What a beautiful day.

a/n: Hello my dudes. ♡ I'm sorry I haven't posted in a week but I really needed a break. ':) 2 more chapters and we are getting to the end of the story. :'(  See you in the next chapter.