No Fear (Red Gerard)

Chapter 9

Red's POV)
After Rowan had left for class and Scotty had gone back to bed, the rest of the guys and I went out to breakfast together. We piled into my jeep, all still half asleep and starving, before driving out to the diner we always went to before the slopes. Mark was blasting "King's Dead" over my radio, but turned it down about half way through.
"Bro what was that for?"
"Turn it back up dude!"
"What the hell Sparky?"
"Seriously bro turn it back up, I was jamming," I said, the last of the statements from the guys.
"No. Red, we need to have a talk," Mark responded, clearly with something on his mind. His words confused me, what was there to talk about? I couldn't think of anything that would concern him this early in the morning other than where we were going for food.
"Um, about what exactly?" I retorted.
"Rowan," Mark said flatly.
"What about her??" I said with attitude laced in every word.
"Bro you know exactly what about her. The fact that you're practically in love with her but can't or won't say anything so you're just silently dying every day," Craig butted in from the back seat. He was right, but there wasn't much I could do about it.
"Okay fine, you're right. But I can't do anything about it, so let's just drop it okay?"
"Fine, but only after one more question. Did you even tell her about Hailey?" Mark asked. That one stung. I had broken up with Hailey three months before because I just couldn't go on with pretending to love her when I only truly loved Rowan. It wasn't fair to her or myself. The thing is, I never told Rowan. I didn't want her to stress about me and how I was doing, she had enough on her own plate with Scotty, college, and trying to find an apartment at the time. She tried to convince me that she wasn't stressed, but I was her best friend and I knew better.
"No."
"God, Red. You have to be the dumbest piece of shit I've ever met," Craig said, facepalming as he did so. I knew he was joking - well at least half-joking - but there was some truth to what he said.
I'd rather have myself hurting, and her happy than the opposite. Any day. There wasn't anything I wouldn't do for Rowan, she was the greatest thing in my life.

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(Time skip to after breakfast... Red is back at his own apartment)
I laid in my room as my mind wandered to the conversation with Craig and Mark in the car earlier that morning. Then I started thinking, was this relationship really right for her?
Did Scotty love her the way that I do? Did he know everything about her? Did he realize all the little imperfections about her that made her who she is? I know I did. I saw it all, the way that her nose crinkled up when she eats something that she doesn't like.
    The way she liked to be held when she cried.
   How she hummed her favorite song of the week while she cooked.
How she rubbed her nose when she was concentrating on something.
How she always sucked her stomach in when we were in public, even though there was nothing to suck in.
The way one of her eyebrows sat slightly higher than the other. She hated it, I thought it was unique and adorable.
Her giggle. Oh her giggle. The way it could light up the room, even on my darkest days.
My favorite was probably her smile, though. It was so beyond perfect, words couldn't even begin to describe it. When she smiled, but only her true smile, her eyes would squint a little bit, she would get these little bumps on her cheeks right below her eyes too. The left corner of her mouth always sat a little above the right one, but it was hardly noticeable unless you really looked at her.
I hadn't seen that smile in a while, though. She'd smiled, just not genuinely. She hadn't been genuinely happy since Scotty had left for Australia three months before. And when he got back the night before, that smile didn't cross her face like it would have. Like it should have.

What was going on?

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IM BACK BISHES!! Wow. It's been a while, Yeah? Well I just want to start off with saying sorry and THANKS FOR 2.5 K Y'ALL ROCK.
On a more serious note, I really am sorry. I had major writers block, which is partially why this is shitty and just red gushing over how perfect Rowan is for him (I dig the last part tho, it's pretty cute). I have also had exactly zero time to do anything. And I will still have zero time to do anything for the next month. So updates will be slow but I promise I'm sticking around so you guys should too!

LOVE you guys lots! I hope you're still enjoying this story as much as I am. If you have any ideas of where you'd like to see it go, shoot me a message or leave a comment. I don't bite! I'd love to hear you ideas! Xoxoxo

(Also, let's appreciate that pic (at top/side) that Mark McMorris took of Red. It's golden.)