Is this love?

Chapter 21

Tahiti was absolutely beautiful, I have been here a week now and I still can't get over the beauty of the place. Seven days of exploring this beautiful island and pretending to forget about my problems. I know I was being childish by not facing my problems. I switch off my phone and bought a new one with a different number. You would think after many years of calling Raven and K.P I would know their number by heart but to my shame I hadn't a clue as to what their cell phone number is. For some reason this makes me feel bad, like maybe I wasn't the best friend I thought I was to them.

I was lay out on my towel under the shade of my beach umbrella, I was drifting in and out of sleep when I suddenly felt arms wrap around me and lift. For some strange reason or maybe I had a six sense I didn't know about but; I didn't scream I didn't ever feel like my life was in danger.

"But me down now" I hissed at Nash. How tge hell did he know where I was.

Instead of answering me he captured my mouth in a deep kiss. I started kissing him back as hungrily as he kissing me. He open tge door to my room and throw me down on the bed before I could protest he followed me down covering me with his big body. He pulled off my bikini panty and slip inside of me. I was more then ready for him as he thrust inside of me I raise up to meet him. God he felt good. I hated the control he had over me but I couldn't resist him. His mouth and hand devour my breasts and when he bit me on my nipple that was already sensitive my orgasm burst over me like fireworks. Nash kept thrusting inside of me drag out my orgasm. I could feel another orgasm slowly building up as he keep moving in and out inside of me. Our eyes locked with each other as my orgasm throw me over the edge again. It was as if our soul had become one. In that moment I realized how much I loved Nash.

Nash withdrew from me and lay down on the side of me pulling me into his body and going to sleep. Even though I had a lot on my mind I fell asleep as well.

I had no idea what woke me, judging by the darkness outside I assume it was night. I was spooning with Nash our legs were tangle together. I easy out of arms, slowly and quietly. I didn't want to wake him, I was taking the coward way out but I really wasn't in the mood for him to seduce me. In the morning I would wake to him making love to me and then he'll make us talk and somehow I'll forgive him because my brain would still be crowded by passion. I didn't want that, I wanted to scream at him. I want him to work to get be back, I can't let him think it's okay to walk away from me when it's hard and then come back when he feels like its okay.

I quickly dress and leave the room locking it and stumble in the dark to fine my way to Antonia hut on the beach because in my hurry I forget to take my phone with me. Damn Nash he's back less then a day and here I was acting like a school gurl in love. Ugh!

I enter Antonia's room and got in bed with her,

she snuggled up to me continue to sleep. I guess tired because the next thing I know sunlight was shining in my face. I open my eyes and quickly shut them back, it was too bright.

"Good morning mom" Antonia said cheerfully.

"Morning honey" I grumbled before I turn away from the sunlight and try to fall back asleep.

"Its morning mummy" she said rocking me. "I'm going for a awim in the sea and then we're going on a hike up the river to the waterfall"

"That's nice honey but mummy is tired. Why don't you go meet your brother and have breakfast"

"Okay mummy" she jumped off the bed and race outside. Leaving the door open. I almost scream but I got up and close it before going back to bed.

I finally wake maybe two hours later, feel hot and sweaty. I had no watch and my phone was back in my room. Taking a long cold shower, I dress and left the room. In my hasty to leave my hut last night I grab the first think I could find, which turn out to be my black one piece bathing suit and wrap dress that didn't cover much.

There was a glass of cold coconut water on the table I started sipping it as I leave the room and make my way up the sandy path to the restaurant. Halfway up the path I saw Nash. I had just take a sip from my glass and I almost choke. He was shirtless, why did the man have to look so good. I wanted to lick him from top to bottom. He was talking to one of the hotel staff who was picking more coconut. I pass them straight ignoring Nash as best as I could.

"Good morning" he said to me as I pass. I didn't answer him I continue walking until I was in the restaurant. The smell of food help me forget all about Nash, now that I was in my second trimester food was my friend. I took a plate and full it with fruits and took the first available seat. A waitress soon arrive to take my order before I could finish Nash appear and took a seat and give his order as well.

I sit at the table glaring at him.

"I know I'm handsome and you like looking at me but baby I'm not going anywhere so you could stop looking at me now. You'll be seeing this handsome face for the rest of your life" he said smirking.

"Will I?" I asked him softly, raising one of my eyebrows at him.

"I'm here to stay"

"Are you?" I asked raising my eyebrows again.

"Yes damn it" he said grinding his teeth, I knew O was getting him angry but I no longer care.

I get up from the table and asked the waitress to deliver my food to my room and I left.

Two minutes after I close and lock the door to my hut Nash was banging on tye door demanding I let him in.

"WHAT!" I screamed in his face as I fling the door open.

"What could you possibly want? It's hard work loving me and we all know you don't like hard work" Of course that wasn't true but I was angry.

"You're right" I raise my eyebrows "but I came back, that should count for something" he was trying hard to keep his temper in check. I could hear it in his voice.

"I'm sorry Nash but you burned your invitation to be my boyfriend" I walk into the room and sit on the bed suddenly I feel tired.

"So that's it right, one mistake and I'm out"

I nod my head at him. I love Nash but I love my children more, if I couldn't trust him to stay with me. How can I put my children in such a position, I want a warm happy loving family where they could feel secure.

"Right because no one could make a mistake around you. You could make all the mistakes you want and other must forgive you but if anyone else makes a mistake. You're suddenly too hurt to forgive them. Raven and K.P made a mistake and suddenly here you are in Tahiti, hiding away from them. They're both going crazy with worried about you. I make a mistake and here I am trying to correct it and you're not even considering letting me back into your life or that of my children"

"You know nothing about my friends" I snapped at him. "This is between you and me leave them out of it"

"How could I? When this is about how you clearly can't accept the fact that others make mistakes"

"That's not true!" I denied hotly.

"Have you forgiven your parents from dying and leaving you. Have you forgiven your grandfather for abandoning to work? Have you forgiven K.P and Raven for having a life in high school that didn't include you? Have you forgiven yourself for your husband death?"

Tears welled in my eyes and slowly run down my cheek.

"You don't forgive Nessa and you don't forget. And maybe that's your way of dealing with all the pain. You don't trust anyone. Not K.P not Raven and most of all not me. You need to start letting others in. You need to start accepting the love of others. We all love you but you can't see it because you're been hurt so much."

Nash wrap his arms around me as I started to sob. I pound on his chest as I cry my heart out.

After I was finish crying I raised from Nash chest. "Could you leave please, I need to be by myself" my eyes was begging him to understand.

"I'll check on you later" he stands and kiss me ont forehead before he left the room