The Unnoticed, Noticed

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Chapter Thirteen 

2:25 a.m.

Why was she still up?

Melody twisted and turned in her bed, but no fatigue came. She lay on her back, facing the dark ceiling.

They were there. The demons in her head were always there. And they spoke at the most ungodly hours.

Your life sucks, you know that? I don't even know why you try anymore. It's not like it's going to get better. It's been like this for years, Melody. Just give up already. One spoke.

You can't even do a simple thing. Everyone can do it. Even stupid people can do it. You don't need half a brain to do it but even as smart as you are, you can't. Just be happy!

The last words echoed in her brain, mocking her.

Just be happy.

Everyone thought it was so simple. Everyone thought she didn't try. Everyone thought it was a joke.

Just be happy.

She turned on her side and exhaled.

You can't do it. You fail to do it. You're a failure.

She turned again. Shut up, shut up, shut up.

You're such a burden. Maybe that's why your Dad left after you were born. You burdened him so much that he had to leave. Maybe that's why he doesn't call or contact you. You weigh everyone down. No one needs you. They wouldn't even see if you left.

You think that when your mum was praying for a child she asked for a depressed one? Her only good daughter isn't even here anymore. You failed again. You fail at the one thing that's standard. You can't be normal.

Shut up, shut up, shut up.

Normal. The one thing she always wanted to be. Not pretty, not smart, not funny, not loved, just normal. Average.

They put you on pills that don't even help. They make you feel even worse. Which one is going to kill you faster? Depression or it's cure? May as well do yourself a favor and die on your own terms.

She flipped herself onto her stomach and gripped her hair. She shook her head in the darkness. "Go away. Go away. Go away," she whispered as she cried.

Why don't you go? For the sake of everyone Melody, just go. They don't need you. You make no difference. Just leave.

Then how do I go? She thought as a tear ran down her face.

You could get run over by a car, hang yourself, overdose, sever an artery and die of blood loss, stab yourself, drown. Make your pick, just leave. No one notices. No one will ever notice.

Look at yourself now. Who is there for you at this moment? No one. No one has ever been, is and will never be there. Why? Because no one cares Melody. No one ever cares.

Melody felt like screaming. She felt numb all over. Empty. Emotionless. Hollow. Dead.

She closed her eyes and imagined it.

Darkness. Coldness.

She saw the soil, she felt the emptiness, she felt the peace.

It was quiet in her grave.

No voices, no burdens, no guilt, nothing. She didn't feel numb. She didn't feel anything. She felt dead but this time it wouldn't just be a feeling. She craved it, yearned for it. She could taste it. The sweet taste of freedom. It would be her break. Her bliss. Her peace. Away from all her problems, all her struggles. Away from her life. She wouldn't have to endure it anymore.