You'll Never Know (Troyler Fanfiction)

Chapter Four

Tyler

I'd thankfully managed to make myself look presentalbe enough to walk back into the living room. I'd already gotten enough stares at the Thai food place, I didn't need any questions from Troye. I wonder if Zoe's advice to tell Troye my feelings, was considered one of her brilliant ideas. Every minute closer to my apartment I got, the more my anticipitation grew.

Finally, I parked outside and made my way to my door. Deep breaths Tyler. In and out. Stay calm. 

I decided that for right now, I'd keep things on the down low. I didn't exactly want to hand him his food and say Here's your food. I'm hopelessly in love with you. I unlocked my door and made my way to the living room. I wasn't very surprised when I found Troye in the same exact spot he was when I left. Only now, he looked sleep deprived. I was about to say his name to get his attention, when he looked up and smiled.

"It's about time! I'm starving and I didn't want to fall asleep on an empty stomach." 

I handed him his food and sat across from him on the couch. "Well Sivan you're a hot mess." This caused him to glare at me playfully, which caused me to giggle, "Just eat your food." I playfully shoved him making him crack up a bit. 

While we ate, we sat in silence. Now you've probably heard this in every other love story when there's some kind of silence, but I'll say it anyways. It wasn't an awkward silence, instead a very calming one. Okay maybe not that calming. Throughout our dinner, there were thoughts crowding up in the back of my mind. Things like, how would I tell Troye that I loved him? How would he take it? Would he hate me? Would he miracuously love me back? All of a sudden I lost my appetite. There may have been a few good thoughts here and there, but most of them weren't all that great. One of them though, was over powering everything else, to the point where if I was alone, I'd be going absolutely insane. 

Everyone would think of me as a terrible person. They'd hate me. They'd push me down so far that no one would ever hear my screams. I'd never be able to show my face again. Then again, if I never told Troye, he'd find someone else and have a happily ever after with someone other than me. I couldn't let that happen. I just couldn't. Even if it meant possibly losing my entire fanbase. I mean, my friends shipped Troyler. And so did my mom. And so did three quarters of my subscribers. Tyler, you're overreacting. Who cares if you lose some people. The people that stay and love you, will over power the people that don't. And over time, you'll forget about all of those people.

Tell him.

Don't tell him.

TELL HIM.

DON'T TELL HIM TYLER.

"Troye I-" I bursted out before thinking and thankfully stopped myself. The way I said his name had already sounded rushed and if I said the rest of what I wanted to say like that, it wouldn't sound sincere.

He looked up from his food. "Yes Tilly?"

Shit. I couldn't do it. "I- I just wanted to say that I'm really happy you came to America. I've really missed you." Dammit Tyler. Why couldn't you just have gotten over it and fucking told him.

He smiled that beautiful, gorgeous, adorable, sexy smile. "I missed you too Tilly. I mean, you're like my best friend. I couldn't live without you."

My inner ten year old girl was screaming at the top of her lungs right now. He said he couldn't live without me. Surely he didn't mean it in any romantic term, but he still said it. That was good enough for me.

"Listen Tilly, I'm super jetlagged now so I'm gonna head off to bed. G'night." he lightly hugged me and made his way down the hall to his room. 

Once he was completely out of sight, I let out the biggest sigh on the planet and fell back onto the couch. I had to come up with a plan. A plan for what you ask? A plan to tell Troye I love him. But it had to be original. I couldn't just take him out for ice cream and say hey I love you bae. That was the oldest one in the book. I needed something adorable, yet sincerely romantic. Something Troye would love. Something that would truly make him fall for me. It had to be amazing. It was definitely going to be worth my time, because it was all for Troye. What could I do? Then it hit me. The best idea came to mind. 

I'd make up a little scavenger hunt. I'd start making all of the posters tonight. Tomorrow morning, I'd wake up and leave a note on his door, just to make sure he'd notice it. That would give him a hint as to where he had to go to find the next clue. They'd all be in walking distance so he wouldn't have to worry about calling an uber. The last clue, would lead to me. I'd be there, with flowers. I'd say, "Troye Sivan. I love you. More than anything. More than anyone could ever love someone. Will you do the honour, of being my boyfriend?" 

No. This was not a fairytale. He could still very well say no. The thing is though, if I never try, I'll never know. If I never get over my fears, I'll never have what could possibly be the best thing in my life. It was time to take Zoe's advice to put my big boy pants on. I had to do this, and I had to do it right. 

~

For the next three and a half hours, I made small posters with little pictures on them. They were perfect. Now all I had to do, was write a note. 

This was going to be perfect.

~

Hey guys! So the few of you that commented, said that you liked my annoyingly long authors notes, so I'll keep that in mind. 

Vote, comment, share and follow <3

Hope you enjoyed!

xoxo ~Emily