We All Fall Down - A Criminal Minds AU

Thirty

After Diana left your mind was in overdrive with all of the information she had given you and what she had asked of you. You paced the downstairs, moving from the living room, to the dining room, to the kitchen, feeling more and more suffocated by the second. Just being in this house, the house where all the deceit and lies had taken place, was making you feel like you were underwater, with no way up. That feeling, the feeling of drowning was one you’d experienced multiple times before in your life, and each time it always seemed easier to swim down, to let it cover you.

Not today though.

“Hey Emily,” you dialled your friends number, her answering quickly.

“Y/N, is everything okay?”

You steadied your voice as much as you could. “Yeah, erm. Would it be okay if I stayed over tonight? I just.. I just need to get out of this house for a while.”

You had keys, you could have just turned up. But that seemed wrong. Those keys were for if Spencer did something to you, and this time he hadn’t, not really. You just needed to escape this house, to get some breathing space, to just forget everything.

Emily assured you it was fine and you dressed and quickly showered, packing a bag. Not wanting to alarm Spencer you sent him a message. “Going round to Emily’s, will be back later.” You wouldn’t, you’d message him again telling him you’d had a drink and was staying over. You’d see him the following night. As you drove the roads to your friend’s house you couldn’t help but wonder why you weren’t driving further away. Why you weren’t leaving for good. Diana knew, everyone in his family knew that your marriage was essentially a sham. And Diana knew that her son was…. well, the only words you could thing of were damaged goods. Spencer had been damaged by his father. But then again you’d also been damaged by a parent, one that had left you and left you with so many unanswered questions which unbeknownst to you had left you with the inability to leave the mess of a relationship that you were in.

“Babe, has something happened?” Emily greeted you at the door, concern etched into her face. You wanted to tell her, to tell her everything but you didn’t feel like you could. It wasn’t your story to tell anymore, it was Diana’s.

“Yes and no. Spencer hasn’t done anything, I just… I can’t be in that house right now.”

She eyed you carefully, trying to figure out if you were covering for Spencer.

“Emily, honestly, he hasn’t done anything to me. We may have had a small disagreement last night but that’s not why I’m here.”

“Okay, I believe you. You know though…. you know you can tell me anything and it won’t leave me.” She led the way through to the kitchen where she’d been working, the smell of fresh baking in the air.

“I know, thank you.” You settled at her counter, dropping your bags to the floor and watching her begin to pack away her baking tins and ingredients. “Hey Emily, will you teach me? Show me how to make a cake?”

Her eyes lit up and she was momentarily distracted from trying to figure out what had bought you to her this afternoon. “I thought you’d never ask.”

…

Hours later and after following Emily’s instructions, you had baked and iced a two tier lemon cake. The cake itself looked and smelled great and you were very impressed that you had managed to produce that. Emily’s kitchen though… Even Sergio was covered in icing sugar, something Emily wasn’t quite sure how it happened.

“He normally hates the mixer and stays far away from it.” She shook her head and handed you a cloth, you both chuckling as you started wiping down the cabinets. “Did you wanna go grab a shower or something, you have cake batter in your hair.”