We All Fall Down - A Criminal Minds AU

Thirty Three

The next few days passed by far too quickly for your liking. Although it wasn't your home, being in the house when Spencer wasn't there felt more comfortable for you, perhaps because you knew you didn't have to lie to him or make polite conversation. You could just be yourself. In the few days he wasn't there you didn't bother drinking any alcohol. Although you had drank wine at Emily and Tara's, drinking at the house seemed to be directly linked to being around Spencer. You needed the booze to help you deal with him and that was unhealthy, that much you realised.

You wanted to talk to someone about the incident with Spencer in the kitchen but at the same you knew that if you spoke to Emily, Tara or Luke they would all demand that you leave and never return. And as much as you had felt a moment of concern and panic, you didn't think he would have taken it any further. You could almost understand why he had done it, knowing what you did about his father. It didn't excuse it, not one little bit, but you understood why.

Spencer must have been feeling bad though. Each day since the incident there was a bunch of flowers delivered to yourself at the diner from him. Both H and Jess thought it was sweet but Grant and Kate had sensed some trepidation from you, both asking if everything was okay. You brushed them off, thanking them for their concern and just explaining that you'd had a disagreement and it was his way of apologising which was kind of the truth. You just didn't explain what the disagreement was. The bunches of flowers went to the high-school girls though, a gesture you were sure Spencer would think sweet if you told him that the girls had fawned over the bouquets.

Luke had questioned your regifting of them on Saturday when he reappeared at the diner for his evening meal.

"Do you not like sunflowers or something? That's a pretty big bunch."

You shook your head. "I detest them. I don't even know why."

"Usually when a husband buys a wife flowers, it's her favourite kind rather than the one she hates. Is it a passive aggressive apology?"

"Nope. He genuinely thinks sunflowers are my favourite flower."

"So you've told him that?" He raised an eyebrow as he fed Roxy a piece of bacon.

"No. He just assumed. When I was in his class I wrote a story about a girl who's favourite flower was sunflowers. The story wasn't even a happy one, she died. But I think he thinks that because I wrote that character, that it means they're my favourite."

"That's an odd thing to assume. So he never actually asked..."

"And I never corrected him, it was just easier to accept them and leave them to die on the windows in the New York apartment."

"Out of curiosity, what is your favourite?"

You didn't even have to think. "Daisies and bluebells. My aunt used to grow them in her garden and I used to sit out there in the summer, right next to them as I devoured stacks of books. My aunt once told me that my mom's favourite was sunflowers but I don't remember that all."

"Do you remember much about her?" Luke asked quietly. You didn't speak about your early years very often.

"Honestly, no. I don't remember much before her leaving at all. It's like she's a ghost to me. She existed and I remember some things like how she always smelt of oranges but everything about that time is a little blurry. I think maybe, because she left, I've blocked her out?"

"Maybe." He changed the subject quickly after that, making plans for your walk the following day. Because you weren't sure what time Spencer was to arrive home, he was still going to pick you up from Tara and Emily's but he wanted to walk a different route and you had no objections.

Hayley had gotten a B+ on her writing assignment. She'd blown into the diner the previous evening, ambushing you with a hug and causing you to nearly drop the stack of plates you were collecting.

"This is the best grade I've gotten on a writing assignment ever!!"

You relieved yourself of your load and hugged her back, feeling warmth and pride spreading through your body.

"See. You could do it! I'm proud of you H."

"I only got such a good grade because of your help." She reached into her bag, taking out something and holding it out for you, somewhat shyly. "I, erm... I made you this. I worked through my lunch at school, I wanted to say thanks."

You took the item from her, turning it over in your hands. It was a bracelet, an intricately woven one, with a charm dangling from it, some form of metal cut into the shape of a your first initial. It was beautiful.

"You made this?" You asked her and she nodded, a blush forming on her cheeks. "It's gorgeous. Put it on me?"

She grinned as she attached it to your wrist. "It's kinda what I want to do when I'm older. Create jewellery. But my dad says I need to have something to fall back on so I just do it on the side for now."

"Well you're very talented H, thank you."

She brushed off your thanks and rushed behind the counter to stash her things, ready to start her shift. Everytime you caught sight of the bracelet for the rest of the evening you felt a sense of warmth rushing through you. Someone had made it for you, specifically just for you, just to say thank you. When you finished your shift that night and fell into bed, it was with a smile on your face.

Your Sunday hike with Luke was as usual, just the escape you needed. Fresh air and being surrounded by nature was something you never thought you'd actually enjoy but it was now such a part of your routine that you knew you'd hate it if you had to give it up.

"So if you go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?" Luke asked you as Roxy trotted ahead.

"There's so many places I'd actually like to visit if I got the chance to, but I think right now, I'd say Italy."

"Really? That's my number one choice too. Rome and Florence...."

"Venice and Sorrento," you continued on. An image flashed before your eyes then, one you had to push aside because it seemed so perfect that it would never be allowed. You and Luke, eating gellato and drinking espresso in St Mark's Square, just watching the other tourists go by. Your phone vibrating in your pocket pulled you away from imagining anymore and you grimaced when you saw Spencer's name on your screen. You showed it to Luke before you answered, so he knew to be quiet.

"Hello," emotion drained from your voice as you answered your husband's call.

"Y/N hi, I'm just checking you'll be home for dinner this evening. You're out on your hike this afternoon, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am, we're on the middle of the trail now. And yes, I will." This was a standing arrangement now and you were always home for dinner.

"You're with Tara and Emily, right?"

"Yes Spencer, like I always am."

"Okay, I'll see you later." He disconnected the call and you just shook your head, continuing your walk with Luke and Roxy, not thinking anything of it.

...

Spencer had been exhausted after his conference but had decided that after the way he had behaved the other day, he needed to make it up to you and flowers just weren't enough. He'd cook, he decided. He could manage if he followed a recipe. He'd pulled into the grocery store and was about to round an aisle when he spotted your friends, Tara and Emily, in the wine aisle. And you weren't with them.

He took a step back, moving out of eye and earshot of them, retrieving his phone from his pocket and calling your number.

And when you answered, you claimed to be out on a hiking trail with the two very same people that were in the next aisle along.

Well then.