Secrets // a.i.

Nine

Riley's POV

I laid in my hotel room later that night, staring at the ceiling, my mind going ninety to nothing. A million thoughts filled my brain, over half of them being about Ashton. I couldn't sleep to save my life, my brain just wouldn't shut up. The room was quiet other than Liz's faint snores filling the room. I tossed and turn, pulled out my phone, pulled the covers off only to put them back on again. I could not get comfortable. These nights were happening way too often, and I found myself wishing I could talk to Ashton again, but I knew he was sleeping. Once again I pulled out my phone, aimlessly scrolling through twitter and Facebook. Just as I was about to close the apps, my phone vibrated in my hand nearly making me jump. I opened my messages, wondering who could be texting me this late. It was Ashton.

Are you up?

A smiled smeared on my face as I slid my fingers across the keys before pressing send.

Unfortunately, can't sleep?

Nope, wanna do something? My mind won't shut up

Mine either. What can we do? It's 1am lol

Meet me at the pool? 

Sure :) 

I hit send, sliding my from my bed as I tip toed to the bathroom. My hair was a mess, even though I hadn't slept on it. I pulled it into a messy bun before pulling a small pair of shorts up my legs. I was wearing my oversized night shirt but I didn't care, it's not like he hadn't seen me wear this before. 

I'm not sure what his plan was, but I didn't care. It was better than laying here in the dark by myself. I grabbed my room key before sneaking out the door as quietly as possible, making sure the lock didn't make that loud as slam. The halls were empty as I made my way to the back door, the warm summer air wrapping around me as I opened it. I could see the pool from where I was, the lights making the water glow. When I got to the gate I saw Ashton sitting at the edge of the pool, his feet dangling in the pool. A white tank top hung on his shoulders and a bark blue pair of Nike shorts went down to his knees. 

"There you are" he smiled. I took a seat next to him, dipping my feet in the cold water.

"Sorry, I had to sneak passed Liz. You know she's a light sleeper" I laughed. 

"Oh trust me I know" he giggled. I rested my hands on the end of the pool, swinging my feet back and forth as I listened to the water.

"So what's on your mind?" He asked, turning to look at me.

"Just stuff" I shrugged, giving him a fake smile. 

"You know, I know when you're lying right?" I looked at him, giving him another shrug. "Come on, you know I'd never make fun of you."

"I know, it's not that" I shake my head. "It's just something stupid."

"Don't say that. If it matters it's not stupid" I look over at him, and I can tell he means it. I wanted to tell him right then and there how I felt. Hell, I almost did. But I just couldn't, it would be to risky. I don't want to lose anything with him. I just have to lie.

"Trust me it's stupid" I laugh, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. 

"Try me" he smiles at me, and I almost lose it. I knew not telling him wasn't going to work, he'd force it out of me til I broke. I sigh, running a hand through my hair as I debated on what to say. I could lie, but he'd catch me. I could tell the truth, but he'd freak out. "It can't be that bad, Ri.."

"It's just..." I sigh, trying to find the right words. "When you like someone and you don't know how they feel, or if they feel at all for you. And you're too afraid to say something because you're worried it might go the wrong way, so you keep it in but.....it eats you up." His eyes are on me, but I don't look up. If I do I may spill over, so I focus on my feet in the pool.