Secrets // a.i.

Fifteen

"Explain" Calum spits, slamming the door behind him. 

Unfortunately this was the night Calum and Ashton shared a room. This could not have gone more wrong. I stood next to Ashton, noticing his breathing beginning to pick up. My heart was pounding in my chest as my palms begin to sweat. I was so nervous, I didn't want Michael to find out this way. Not from someone else, he'd hate me forever.

"We didn't expect this to happen" I tell him, rocking back and forth on my heels. It was a bad nervous habit I had.

"How long?" He demands, putting his hands on his hips.

"Three weeks" Ashton says.

"You've been hiding this for THREE WEEKS??" He shouts, bothing of us rushing to shush him. Luke and Michaels room was just across the hall, if he continued like this they'd end up hearing him. 

"Yes okay" I say through gritted teeth, "can you please keep it down, I don't want him finding out this way!" 

"Do you realize what would have happened if it would have been Michael to came back on the bus?" He says rather loudly, making me flinch. I hadn't really put much thought into what would happen if one of the other boys caught us, I was so focused on not letting Michael or Liz see us that It hadn't occured to me.

"Trust me we know" Ashton tells him. "But we didn't wanna tell him unless we became more serious, we didn't wanna tell him if this turned out to be nothing."

"He's gonna kill you when he finds out Ashton, this is his best friend! The one person he cares more about than anything in this world!" He shouts again, pointing his fingers at me as he talks. 

"You don't think I fucking know that?" Ashton raises his voice, "I know just how much he cares about her. Why do you think I'm reluctant to even tell him?"

"Don't feed me shit about how you care, if you two are sitting here hiding this how the fuck could you?" Calum huffs, running a hand through his hair. "And you...Riley" he laughs sarcastically, shaking his finger at me. "Do you even know how much this is going to hurt him? His best friend since middle school keeping a secret from him? One like this. This is going to kill him." 

I wanted to cry right then and there. Yes I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I couldn't risk Ashton and Michaels friendship over it. Not if this wasn't going to really become anything. But Calum made me feel so guilty and I wanted to just scream and throw myself to the floor. I didnt want to hurt my best friend, I couldn't take it if I hurt him. He was never going to forgive me after this.

"I know okay. I know, trust me you're not telling me something that I haven't already thought about" I tell him. "But please, can you let us do this our way and figure it out? I don't want him finding out this way."

"What are you guys even doing?" He scoffs, staring between us.

"Were trying to figure out what this is, and once we do we'll tell him. Just please don't tell him.." Ashton says softly. 

Calum stands there for a moment, looking at the ground as runs his hands through his hair. I don't know what he's gonna say and I don't know if I wanna hear it to be honest, I'm too scared about what's going to happen next. He lets out a long sigh, bringing his fingers to the bridge of his nose.

"Fine. I won't tell, only because Michael deserves to hear this from you two, not me. But if he finds out, you're on your own. I just hope you two know what you're doing" he says before turning around and heading out of the room. He slams the door again, leaving us standing there in silence. 

"I'm sorry" I whisper, not wanting to look at Ashton. I felt like this was all my fault, if I had just gotten off the bus and sucked it up, neither of them would have come back and we wouldn't be in this situation right now.