nefelibata (n.) | ✔️

nineteen.

Present. October 20th, 2018.

My Saturday night was going almost as terrible as Carson's night, but then I remembered that he walked in on me.

I kicked... crap, I can't remember his name now. Anyways, once I kicked my most recent adventure out and had Carson wait downstairs, I decided to remind myself that it wasn't a big deal and we're all adults here.

My parents were holding an 'adults only' dinner about an hour away which gave me the house to myself and considering all of the weird energy I felt for Carson all week I needed something to get him off my mind, so in comes.. whatever his name is.

Unfortunately for me, Carson and I have gotten to 'sure just walk right in' level. Not sure how that happened all of the sudden but here we are.

I slowly made my way down the short stairs, not wanting to face Carson who is currently sitting on my couch, head in hands.

"Carl?" I hope the nickname will give me a bit of leverage and ease the weird vibe in the room. Ever since our little ice cream adventure and our long shifts at work we've finally become for like friends, just as he wanted. "I'm so sorry you had to see that."

"No, I'm sorry. I should have knocked. I'm stupid." He stood and faced me, a somber look on his face. Why did he look sad more than anything?

"You're not stupid," I said curtly. I don't know why it annoyed me so much when Carson said that, but he needed to know that he isn't. "I should have known you'd bring me dinner. You're the nicest guy on the planet."

We exchange soft looks of apologies and embarrassment as I eye up the pizza he brought me.

"So who's the guy?" He asked, sitting on the couch. I followed his lead and sat next to him.

"No one. I don't even remember his name." I said with a disapproving tone. I remember the girl I used to be, the one who would hook up with randoms at parties and jump on the first person that gave me the time of day, but I wasn't like that anymore.

I can't exactly exactly tell Carson that the reason I was making out with some random guy and letting him feel me up was that I wanted to forget about the thoughts of him lingering around my brain.

"Then you just what? Found him on the street and let him go down on you?" Judgment was evident in his voice, and I winced, hating the way he phrased it even though it was true.

I sighed and rubbed my eyes aggressively. "I'm not like that, Carson. I promise you I'm not." I needed to forget about you.

"I know. It's not my place anyway. I just wanted to bring some food since I knew your parents would be out late." He said quickly, standing up and turning on his heels.

I stood up and followed him. "Wait are you leaving?" I didn't want to have to ask him to stay, but I really wanted him to.

He raised his brow. "Do you want me to stay?" Yes. Yes. Yes.

"I mean if you want to." I shrugged. Fuck! "I'd like your company." At least that's slightly better.

Carson wore a cocky smirk on his lips, taking his hand away from the doorknob and slinging it over my shoulder. "Just ask me to stay."

"Fine," I huffed, turning to him. "Carson, I want you to stay so that I don't need to rethink tonight 800 times and so that I don't need to eat this giant pizza on my own on a Saturday night," I say, my puppy dog eyes doing wonders.

Carson chuckled. "I was going to stay anyway, that just made my day!"

I slapped his stomach. "You're the worst," I grumbled.