nefelibata (n.) | ✔️

twenty-one.

Present. October 31st, 2018.

Halloween used to be the best time of the year for me. Christmas aside, of course. Now Halloween just seemed like one big joke. High School students were looking at it as an excuse to make themselves look ridiculous and throw massive parties and hook up with one another.

If I had it my way, Penelope would be by my side dressed in shitty homemade zombie costumes trick or treating and judging the costumes that come to the door after we hand out candy.

Somehow I let Carson talk me into this damn party, and my costume was pitiful. I decided to go as a dark angel, that way I wouldn't have to stray from my usual dark attire and makeup. I was showing more skin than usual. After all, Halloween became a day for girls not to be called sluts for dressing 'sluty.'

I had a black halo headband on to go with my dark outfit. I had my usual dark makeup, letting some black streaks running down my cheeks. My black fluffed wings are connected to an old piece of lacey lingerie I had found in my mom's closet. It was nearly entirely see-through, but I added a black strapless bra underneath to avoid full vulnerability. I threw on my favorite black ripped jeans and some combat boots to finish it off. It wasn't my best costume, but I figured it wouldn't matter anyway.

When I heard a knocking sound at the door, my father's loud footsteps and an "I got the door!" told me to stay put in my room.  My mother then called me down immediately after. When I informed her that a boy would be coming to pick me up, she nearly fainted. I just rolled my eyes and locked myself upstairs. Little did she know it was Carson, the one that saw her in one of her hateful fits aimed towards me.

I could hear my father lead Carson to the kitchen; I listened to them gracefully chat for a bit and get introduced before I interrupted. I wondered what he wore tonight, we told one another we'd keep it a secret, but I had a feeling he was going as Deadpool after his year-long rant about how amazing the movie was.

I went down the stairs quickly and made my way to the kitchen, interrupting the conversation as all their eyes turned to me. "Sweetie! You look great." My father gave me a warm smile and planted a kiss on my cheek. I saw my mother roll her eyes as she took in my attire.

Carson closed his jaw as soon as I made eye contact with him. I put on a confident smile. "Yeah, you look awesome, Lena." Carson gives me a quick hug, and I return it, smiling at his Deadpool costume.

"You don't look too bad yourself, Deadpool." He winked at me.

I then turned to my mother who was scowling at me, practically shooting daggers. "What is it, mother?" I grabbed the paper plates and picked at the sides.

"You can't go one damn day without looking like a goth demon?" She blurted, shaking her head. "I mean honestly, you two praise her for making herself look like she rose from hell or something."

"Seriously, Janet?" My father provokes, shaking his head.

"No, Chandler! She's ridiculous. She won't listen to me even on a day where she could dress up as something sweet and non-emo!"

"Then she would be acting fake, Janet. Is that what you want from your daughter? For her to be fake?"

"If it means she looks like an actual human being that isn't a harbinger of death than yes." She crosses her arms and stares me dead in the eye.

My father continued to argue with her. I wasn't listening anymore; I couldn't be bothered to listen. It felt like suddenly I was numb, immune to her constant hateful words. That was until my tear fell.

I hated crying. Anyone who knew me knew this, but I couldn't help it. My mother was relentless and vicious towards me, and there is only so much that I can take. I didn't want anyone to know I was about to break down right there. Especially not Carson. I could feel his concerned eyes on me. The way he got all alpha male when he sensed my pain at the hatred my mother spewed.