So There it is

2 0 0
                                    

So there it is.

The end has come.

He lays half naked,

Dead in his pool.

A tragic story

In all its glory.

And there it is,

That painful longing,

For what?

For whom?

Why does my heart

Clench and squeeze

Like I'm missing

An essential piece

Of myself?

Like there's a gaping

Hole, my heart is aching!

Oh this melancholy!

This emptiness!

This feeling that

The green light

Has lost all of

Its previous meaning!

How can I function?

Is this what happens

To a dream deferred?

Have my life and

My ambitions been

Crusted over

Like a sugary sweet?


afterword: I would like to add a quote from Vladimir Nabokov, author of Lolita, on the Russian word 'Toskà' so that you too might understand the feeling that was infused in my veins as I wrote this poem. 

"No single word in English renders all the shades of toskà. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning. In particular cases it may be the desire for somebody of something specific, nostalgia, love-sickness. At the lowest level it grades into ennui, boredom."

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Apr 27, 2018 ⏰

Add this story to your Library to get notified about new parts!

Chasing Green LightsWhere stories live. Discover now