**Note-this is a fictional story. None of the details within the story are true***
Mark- One of the worlds best designers, model, and a bachelor
Jinyoung- One of the worlds best anonymous authors and a high school English teacher, and a bachelor...
Twisting and turning I groan in pain. The salmon was in fact bad, I should have followed my gut but I was distracted by his words
"I'm his boyfriend"
I don't know why he said it, or even stepped in at all. We never jumped in front of the other when we encounter an angry girl, we never have but now he did. I wonder why. What has changed between us? We never spoke more than the usual, "what do you tell them to get them so angry?" and the "that's for me to know and for you to wonder". That is all we have said to each other. Even in college, although we were roommates we never spoke any words other than, "good morning Park", "Hello Tuan". I never thought about him more than wonder how he can be so quiet yet enjoy the party life, but even then he only remains in my mind for three minutes and nothing more.
But these days that is all I can think about. His soft hair that changes color almost every month with crazy colors but he mostly sticks to the blond, and red colors. He looks amazing with red hair, so mature and confident; and the blonde makes him look more angelic and immature, but somehow he looks more beautiful. I don't know whether or not he likes to be called beautiful, but I can't help it that is the word that comes close to describing his beauty. He has a way with words when he speaks but what really captures my attention and makes me catch my breath is the way he uses silence to transmit so many emotions. He does not need words to say what's on his mind, words have never been necessary to him and that is something that I find both confusing and mesmerizing.
I love the silence between... silence... that is all we have. We are nothing more than silence. It's funny how I wish to listen to him speak more but fear that if he were to speak more the spell that consumes us on those lunches will disappear. I fear many things; disappointing people I care about because of my incompetence, ruin people's lives due to my ignorance, but most importantly I fear opening up to people.
I have done it once and it ended up very bad, I ended up in the hospital for three months for opening up to someone that I thought cared enough for me to have my back despite my insecurities and my reality but I was wrong. Time after time, when I think that I have finally found someone that I can fully trust life comes and reaffirms that in this world you cannot trust anyone, that you are the one only that is worth trusting, even when you are the cause of your pains and nightmares.
Is it wrong of to think that he is different than those who I trusted before? Is it wrong of me to think that he can become someone that I want in my life until I turn so old that my memory begins to slip through my white hair? Is it also wrong to be afraid of him turning out to be just like the others I have trust before? It is wrong of me to think that he will hurt me, for me to place him with the others that don't even come close to his status?
What is wrong with me? Tuan and I not friends and will never be more than people that have lunch after hideous blind dates. That is what we are and I wished we were more but we cannot. One day he will find his wife and I'll still be sitting in those restaurants listening to rehearse conversations.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
