The Dark Artifices

|One|

    The shadows slowly diminished as the first light of day filtered through the attic window. Julian was laying across his bed, fully clothed and utterly still. He had spent the night much the same as the four previous nights— wide awake and staring into the darkness. In the absence of light, Julian allowed himself to break apart; to embrace the excruciating pain that threatened to engulf him every minute of the day; to feel the loss of Livvy from his life forever. In daylight, he was the foundation on which his family depended, and showing any of the raw emotion he felt inside would hurt them—Helen, Mark, Ty, Dru, Tavvy, Emma, Cristina and Kit—even more. So, it was under the canopy of night that he hid away his grief and rebuilt himself piece by piece by the time dawn came.

    A gentle knock on the door roused Julian from his thoughts. His body ached from laying so long in the one position—pain had become a constant familiar since it all had happened. He slowly rose from the bed, the surge of blood to his head causing him to stagger slightly as he made his way across the room, his footsteps soundless on the wooden floor.

    Pausing to take a deep breath, Julian reached out and grasped the door-handle expecting to find one of his siblings—most likely Helen or Mark—checking in on him. The door creaked open and Julian felt his heart stutter.

    "Emma," he whispered. Standing before him was his parabatai. He could feel the warmth of her body radiating towards him and he wanted nothing more than to reach out and envelop her in his arms. She was wearing cotton pyjama shorts and one of his old sweat shirts that hung loosely from her shoulders, revealing a sprinkling of freckles where the sun had kissed her skin. The very sight of her made Julian's knees weaken and he gripped the door frame to steady himself.

    Julian saw as her eyes raked over his dishevelled appearance—he still wore yesterday's clothes, his t-shirt stained with bits of Tavvy's dinner as well as his tears from when his youngest brother had sobbed himself to sleep on Julian's shoulder.

    "Jules," she said softly, her eyes searching his for familiarity, for a sign that the boy she loved more than starlight was still in there somewhere. Emma reached out to cover his hand with her own, and Julian heard her voice speaking the words she wrote across the back of his hand inside his head, "I-A-M-H-E-R-E-F-O-R-Y-O-U-A-L-W-A-Y-S."

    The sensation of her skin touching his unravelled Julian. He leapt forward, closing the distance between them, drew Emma to himself, and buried his face in the soft tousles of her hair. She smelt like rosewater and sunlight, and the very closeness of her eased his torment ever so slightly. "Ems," Julian murmured. "I'm sorry, I'm just so sorry—"

    Emma broke away from him, a look of incredulity spreading across her face. "By the Angel, Julian! How can you be sorry when you haven't done anything wrong?" she whispered furiously. "This—Livvy, is not your fault," Emma said gently, but with conviction.

    Julian felt a lump rise in the back of his throat and he tore his gaze away from Emma. His self-control was dangerously close to breaking—the ferocity of his emotions felt like waves crashing against the shoreline. A thousand thoughts raced through Julian's mind. It's all my fault, I should have done more to protect Livvy... I let her down, I let my family down. "Emma, I—"

    "Julian Blackthorn, you have spent every minute of every day for the last five years caring for and protecting your family. You could not have done anything more," Emma said reaching up to cup his face in the palm of her hand.        

    The lightness of her touch sent shivers down Julian's spine and he leaned into her embrace. He felt the rough calluses that lined her slender fingers against his cheek and the warmness of her breath as she exhaled. Julian slowly opened his eyes and felt his heartbeat quicken at the realisation of how tightly pressed together he and Emma were. A sense of longing washed over him as tilted his head down towards Emma's, his lips gently brushing against her temple. He felt Emma's body tense as he drew her closer to him, circling his arms around her. She moved her hands to rest on his shoulders and looked up at him, her lips parted.

    Julian reached forward to trace the outline of her lips with his paint-splattered fingers, his heart beating erratically inside his chest. Since the events of the Council Hall, Julian had tried his best to push any thoughts of Emma from his mind. The devastation of Livvy's death had left his family drowning in the pain of it all, and Julian knew he could not withstand the possibility of losing his parabatai as well. Yet, distancing himself from Emma had not brought relief, but instead a sense of isolation and hollowness. Life without Emma was no life at all.  

    He inclined his head forward ever so slightly and cautiously pressed his lips to the corner of her mouth. Encouraged by Emma's fingers pressing harder into his shoulders, Julian moved to kiss Emma again and was met with her own eager lips against his. He could feel her smile against his mouth and for the first time in days, he felt whole again. 

    The passion in which Emma kissed Julian, the way her tongue explored his mouth unbound him. He held Emma's hips tightly, lifted her upwards and instinctively she wrapped her long, tanned legs around him, pressing even closer. Julian lost himself in kissing Emma—sweetly, tenderly, hungrily. He kissed her eyelids, her freckled shoulders and heard a distant moan of pleasure escape his throat as she ran her hands underneath his t-shirt, brushing against his chest, his stomach and along his hips.

     "Emma, God. Emma," Julian choked, as he wove his hands through her soft, golden hair. "This is— I love—"

    A loud cry echoed through the house, abruptly ending the moment between Julian and Emma. Julian took a step back and ran a hand through his hair. "It's Ty," he said. "His nightmares aren't getting any better—he wakes up screaming for Livvy." Julian could hear the anguish in his voice. "I have to go to him, Em, I'm—I can't—"

    Emma took a step forward and placed Julian's hand in hers. "Julian," she said softly. "For whither thou goest, I will go."