INVICTUS

VI

So your blind devotion lies

Etherised

Among your rancid bitter fallacies

"We're leaving." I tell Aaron who had Jenny Chang clinging to him. I would have let him enjoy the night and waited patiently. But I couldn't stand being here any longer.

She let go of him visibly embarrassed and muttered a solemn goodbye. Aaron at least had the sense not to ask any questions. Perhaps he was too scared to. I must have looked like a mess with my dishevelled hair, swollen lips and crinkled clothes. I wonder if he was old enough to piece together the clues.

We walk across the carpark in silence the only sound was the low pulsing of the music behind us and the soft crunch of gravel beneath our feet.

How could I have let that happen to me? How?

We got in the car and I shut the door with a loud bang. I could see Aaron wince at the noise. I started up the car, as soon as we were outside the school gates Aaron seemed to muster up the courage to ask:

"What happened to your neck?"

I didn't answer him. He didn't ask any more questions.

My grip tightened on the steering wheel and the knuckles turned a deadly white, save the freckles. Fury and humiliation. Those were the only emotions I could feel, all else seemed dead.

We finally arrived home, Mum was there to greet us at the door. She beamed and kissed both our cheeks.

"How was it?" She asks.

"Great" says Aaron. A smile blooms across his face. Well at least someone had a good time tonight.

I merely push past her and make my way to my room. She may have called out my name. I'm not sure. I couldn't hear her. The only thing I could hear was Mrs. Wilkin's threat and her voice purring those hateful words.

Who will believe you?

No one. No one will believe me. The world will call me a liar. The world will make a monster out of me. Flaming wrath pierced through me. I could have torn the world to flaming shreds, blazing ribbons.

But I didn't. Her words, those chains bound me. I will, I will fester. I will never be free. I am contained.

~~~

When I wake up the next morning I feel numb. Unable to move, do anything. But I force myself to get up, go to the bathroom brush my teeth. I drag my feet to the shower where I scrubbed my body fiercely, hoping that the phantasmic grime would disappear, willing the feeling of her to go away. But it is no use. None at all.

"Mum!" Cries out Aaron. "Rhys is hogging the shower!"

I turn off the tap and dry myself before wrapping the towel around my hips and walk out of the bathroom. I don't get out yet. I open up the cabinet and take out my mum's make up kit.

As a kid used to watch my mum put her make up on. Sitting at the edge of the bathtub observing as leaned across the counter in her pleated skirt and undone blouse. She would swathe on bold lipstick or mascara and I used to watch fascinated as she become a different person, another version of my mother. My mother wears her make up like armour. I'm hoping to do the same.

I found the concealer and studied the red angry marks at my neck, glad that my mother hadn't noted them last night. I try to remember how she put it on. Mimicking her techniques I lathe over the marks, until they disappear. They only problem was, some of my freckles disappeared, but I guess you'd only notice it if you were looking closely, they were never that prominent.

I pack up the kit with haste and head out, eyeing my brother daring him to say something. But he doesn't, instead he rushes into the bathroom and locks the door. I go to my room and get changed before going downstairs. The first thing that hits me is the sweet aroma, the second is bright laughter. It all seems strange-foreign. As if I had forgotten that there were things in life to look forward to.

"Rough night?" Asks my mother.

Rougher than you think. I want to say but instead I force myself to smile.

"Yeah." I say. "It was tiring, but I had fun."

She seems relieved and hands me a plate of pancakes.

"Eat up!" She orders. "And you should take the day off. One day of not studying can't hurt."

"I guess she's right but that would also be a good 18 hours wasted. 18 hours I could have used on making notes, revising-

"Rhys!"

"Sure mum" I say shoving a mouthful of pancakes in my mouth.

"Mrs. Sarfraz called up last night." Says mum. "They're coming back early and Raihana is engaged."

Dad looks up from his paper. He's old fashioned in that sense. Heck he even has those old vinyls from the seventies. Not that I'm complaining, in fact I've even started my own collection for Queen (my absolute favourite band), I'm missing one album though I can't seem to get it.

"When did she say they were coming?"

"This Friday," says Mum. "Can you imagine, she was only seven years old when we moved here."

Aaron comes downstairs and sits himself down. He's smiling, a smile so bright an genuine, but it's out of reach.

"I have to tell you something." He says.

I freeze. I have the irrational thought that he might tell them about the marks on my neck.

"What is it?" Asks Dad.

"I'm going on a date this Friday."

Mum and Dad both smile.

"Who is she?" Asks mum.

"Jenny Chang." His grins grows wider. "I...I like her face."

"I think what you're trying to say is, she looks pretty." I quip, relieved.

He looks sheepishly at me.

"When will we meet her?" Asks Dad.

"I was hoping you could drive us..."

Suddenly I don't know why but I cease seeing. All I could see was her and nothing else.

"Rhys?"

It was Dad. His voice brings me back.

I get up from the take and leave the house, trying to rid my mind of the visions. I make up a mental exercise. Whenever any thought of her enters my head I pretend that it's a piece of paper that I could scrunch up and simply throw out of my head. It works for a while, but soon there were more pieces of paper than I could handle.

~~~

Last chapter for today.

- Alekos P.