sin with us | sidemen au ✔️

epilogue : life

"for what it's worth: it's never too late to be whoever you want to be. i hope you live a life you're proud of, and if you find you're not, i hope you have the strength to start over"
- f. scott fitzgerald

𖢭 5 years later 𖢭

Heidi's eyes fluttered open slowly, laced with sleep, as the moonlight crept through the glass door and hit her face perfectly. The curtains weren't closed all the way.

Mentally debating whether or not she could sleep with the light hitting her like that, Heidi finally sighed. She glanced over at the body next to her. Simon, fast asleep, had his fingers barely touching her arm. He tended to move a lot during the night, so that didn't surprise her.

She carefully maneuvered her way out from the blankets, careful not to wake up Simon. He had just gotten back from a football tournament. He had played quite a few games, his club, Leeds, winning the championship. Simon was proud of himself, so Heidi did her best to keep quiet so he could sleep off his exhaustion.

She tiptoed to the door, intending to pull the curtains and then head back to bed, but the terrace was calling her name.

When they moved into this flat, much bigger than her old one, she had thought the terrace was excessive. However, Simon couldn't be persuaded on another flat. He was determined to get this one; he happened to really love the terrace.

Gripping the handle of the door, Heidi carefully pulled it open, flinching when it made even the tiniest creak. She checked to make sure Simon hadn't stirred, before walking out and closing the door behind her.

Instantly, the cold hit her bare arms and legs. Her tank top and pajama shorts gave no shield to the wind. She had learned not to wear pajama pants or long-sleeved shirts to bed, considering Simon was a human heat radiator. She didn't mind the chill right now, though.

Heidi walked to the terrace railing, leaning her arms on it. She took a deep breath, then blew it out of her mouth, where it was a frosty white in the night.

She looked up at the sky, the few stars twinkling above her. She was jealous that her brother could see more stars up north than she could, but she loved London. A lot more than she used to.

Heidi didn't know what came over her. She just had this overwhelming desire to talk. To finally say what she never said. She had written it out in her head, repeating it hundreds of times. But she never said it. Yet, tonight, she closed her eyes for just a moment, then opened her mouth, and spoke.

"Hey," she started softly. "It's been a while. Well, more than a while, actually. Over five years, I think. Things have gotten a lot better. I met Simon, for starters, and we're married now," she couldn't hold back her smile when she thought of her sleeping husband. "And, we have a little girl. He named her Addison."

Heidi paused for a few minutes, thinking about her daughter. The little girl looked just like her father. Blonde, blue-eyed, and the same gorgeous smile. Simon had said that she had her mother's heart, though, and Heidi smiled for days after that.

"Simon's really really great," she continued. "I love him more than anything else in this world. Well, him and Addison," she laughed to herself. "He never gave up on me. Not once. Even when I told him about the depression and almost suicide, he never left my side. He's the main reason I don't have to take my antidepressants anymore. He helped me overcome it.

"We're having another baby. A boy, this time. He's really excited. Not that he wasn't happy when Addy came, because he truly was then too. I think he just wants to pass down his football legacy to his son," Heidi smiled at the thought of watching her husband playing football with a smaller version of himself.

She took a deep breath, before continuing. "I'm choosing the name this time. I... I'm naming him after you," she squeezed her eyes shut. She didn't want to cry. "I just wanted to say thank you. I never got the chance to say it before. You saved my life. I don't remember what you saved me from, but I think it must have been pretty bad. I owe you my life. Without you, I don't think I'd be here," she whispered. "Thank you, thank you, thank you.... Lachlan."

She wiped away a single tear just as the door behind her creaked open. Simon stood there before her, just as he had fallen asleep, in his sweatpants and a thin tee shirt. He rubbed his tired eyes before tilting his head at her. "Babe, it's freezing out here," he commented, and until he said that, Heidi hadn't noticed it much. She shivered when those words came from his mouth. "Come on inside."

Heidi knew that she loved Lachlan. Not in a romantic way, but in a way a sister loves a brother, or the way you love a best friend. She loved him like that. Not in any other way. Because, when she looked at the man before her, with messy blond hair and eyes that were still strikingly blue, even when he was tired, she knew what love was. And she couldn't feel that kind of love for Lachlan. But she loved him all the same.

"Okay," she answered softly. She walked inside, as he held the door for her. As he crawled back into their bed, Heidi remembered the unclosed curtain.

Just before she tugged it close, she saw him, wings and all, sitting on the terrace railing. He gave her a smile, and she gave him one back. She didn't even have to say anything, because her eyes showed it all. He nodded at her, before fading away, until it was an empty terrace once more.

Heidi laid back down in bed on her side, pulling the duvet over her cold body. Simon rolled over, wrapping his arm around her stomach and kissing the skin where her neck and shoulder met. "Is everything alright?" he asked her, quietly and gently, but still laced with tiredness.

Heidi turned her head to look up at him sideways. He smiled down as their blue eyes met. She thought about the question. "Everything" was such a strong word, yet she knew the answer in a split second. "Perfect," she whispered. "Everything's perfect."

Simon broke out into a smile, leaning down and softly kissing her lips, before holding Heidi close to him. They both knew she was absolutely right.

Everything was perfect.

The End

𖢭

"The devil whispered in my ear,
'You're not strong enough to
withstand the storm.'
Today,
I whispered in the devil's ear,
'I am the storm.'"
- Unknown