sin with us | sidemen au ✔️

chapter four : envy

"Envy is the art of counting someone's blessings instead of your own"
- harold coffin

Heidi dashed around her flat, locking every window. She had pushed a dresser in front of the broken door, in hopes that it would keep the demons out.

She ran into her bedroom, flicking the lock, and letting out a sigh. Her eyes caught the sight of her dead body in the bathroom, and she slowly walked over to close the door.

Tap. Heidi froze. Tap. It sounded like nails on glass. Tap. Her eyes flickered over to her window, which was covered by cream-coloured curtains. She stepped over and slowly pushed them apart.

A man sat on her fire escape. He grinned, tapping again on the window. Heidi smirked; there was no way she was unlocking it for him.

He rolled his eyes, and moved his finger in the air, going from one side to another. The lock clicked open. Heidi's face dropped as the window lifted, and he stepped down inside.

He had the blood eyes like Lewis and Gluttony, but they looked brighter against his dark skin. His hair was covered by a black hat, but deep evergreen coloured horns curled out from the sides of it. His clothes were an emerald shade, standing out in the dark, dreary room. Heidi could already tell which sin he was.

"You're Envy, aren't you?" she asked.

He frowned. "That's not very nice, sweetheart. You won't even let me introduce myself," he sighed, and Heidi saw a small gap in his teeth. "Well, I know who you are too, so I guess that's alright." He took off his hat, and he tossed it onto her bed.

Heidi rolled her eyes. "Are you going to tell me that I craved all of Chip's things? Because, that didn't go so well for Gluttony."

Envy's eyes were flicking around her room, focusing on her shelves and closet. A jealous look was on his face, as he stared at a medal from a spelling bee. "No," he simply stated.

"So, you're only here for fun, then?" Heidi was tired of this. Why couldn't they just leave her alone? Why wouldn't they just send her soul wherever it was supposed to go?

"No," he said again. "I'm here because it wasn't material things you were envious of." Heidi raised an eyebrow. "It was life."

Heidi's mind started traveling at the speed of light. Did he mean when she found out she was dead? She didn't remember being jealous of someone alive when that happened.

Envy smirked. "You're confused, sweetheart, aren't you?" he mocked her. "I'm talking about when you were alive."

"If I was alive, why would I be jealous of someone else being alive?" Heidi questioned his logic. "That makes no sense." She crosses her arms over her chest.

He pinched his lips together. "You're not very smart, sweetheart," he insulted. "You weren't jealous of them for being alive. You were jealous because they had a life you wanted."

Heidi's eyes fell to the ground as she thought. Sure, she had a terrible life from the time she left university until now, but was she really jealous of her friends?

"Just listen to me for a minute," he told her. "You were given so many burdens. Your father died. Your mother is a lunatic. Your brother left you. Your boyfriend cheated on you. And your best friend betrayed you."

Each of those words stung her like a bee. A pain was in her chest, and it clinched her heart as he spoke. "I know all those things happened."

"And, you desired someone else's life. A normal life. Like Chris, who's parents still live in Jersey, and he has a new girlfriend," Envy said. Heidi sucked in a breath. She didn't know that. "Or maybe Chip. He had it easy. Mummy and Daddy handed everything to him on a silver platter. He didn't have to work for anything."

Heidi took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. "I'm glad that they aren't suffering like I am. They're good people, even if they have made a few mistakes. I'm happy Chris found someone else, and I'm happy Chip has a stable lifestyle."

Envy shrugged. "Maybe," he stated. "Or maybe this might change your mind."

He moved his finger in the same motion as he did to flick the lock on her window. A cloud, just like Gluttony's appeared, but this one was an olive green colour.

An image of Chip flashed into the surface, like a camera going off. He was fixing his tie in the mirror of his large bedroom. He smiled at himself in the mirror, before walking out.

The vision followed him, and he walked down the stairs of his two-level flat. A girl in a black dress with a long ponytail spoke to him, before scurrying off to clean. Heidi recognized her. It was his maid, Lizbeth.

Chip flashed off the image, and Chris' face appeared. He was smiling that wonderful smile he had, full of straight white teeth. He was at a fancy dinner with his parents, probably in Jersey.

A girl was next to him, a type of girl Heidi could never see him with. She had obviously dyed blonde hair, and a wide smile that looked fake. Her breasts were spilling from the dress she had on, and her eyeliner never seemed to end. She looked like the opposite of Heidi, but she was what most people thought beautiful was.

Envy made the cloud disappear, searching Heidi's face for a reaction. She only stood there, expressionless. She was keeping herself calm.

"Tell me, sweetheart, did that make you upset, seeing them enjoying life? Do you really feel happy for them? Or was that just a lie?" Envy said, an attempt to make her speak.

Heidi stayed quiet for another moment. "I am glad that they are living their lives in a way I never could. I never got the opportunities that Chip had, so I'm glad he doesn't have to experience what I do. I haven't recovered from the breakup between Chris and I, but he has, and I'm glad he moved on."

This seemed to irritate Envy. "Don't you see how horrible life has been to you?" he shouted at her. "Life has given you nothing but pain and sorrow, but has given everything to them! Happiness, wealth, love, family! How is that fair? You should be jealous! Mad, even! You deserve their life! They don't deserve what they have, but you do! You shouldn't have to work to get everything that they were given for free!"

Heidi watched as Envy tried to coax her into becoming jealous. She licked her lips nervously. "I deserve what I've been given," she said slowly. "Nothing more, and nothing less. Life is different for everyone. I will get what they have, but I'll earn it fairly. I won't envy them."

Envy growled and a flash of green smoke filled the room. Heidi swiped at it, trying to keep it away from her eyes. It smelt of cut grass and mint.

He was gone. But his hat remained on her bed, and she left it there.