The thoughts of a girl called Mimi

Me

I would describe myself as an optimistic pessimist, maybe slightly sadistic. I look upon life with mostly the anticipation of failure. But I always have a little itching feeling that something good may happen. It never does. Well my sadistic tendencies are not prominent to say but they obviously exist . Similar to that of when you have your glasses off and can see just not clearly.

One thing I do enjoy is pushing people's buttons. Rilling them up till they go pop. I do it in a way where only the person I annoy can see it. It's funny really because nobody will ever suspect that I, the introvert,  would be such a b****. Yes I am an introvert I just have... very extroverted qualities. You could say that I am unpredictably predictable. Very contradictory  too. Maybe not though who knows.

My name is Mimi and I am complex, unpredictably so. I also have an eating disorder, nice to meet you. That's a normal way to introduce myself right. No it's not. It just proves my point. It was predictable that I was going to say something but what I said was unpredictable. Nobody expects it really. The eating disorder I mean. I know I'm not fat. But I still feel fat. I'm not an idiot and I don't have a dysmorphia. I just starve myself deliberately. Then I binge on whatever I can find. The cycle is vicious. Very vicious. Maybe I am a slight masochist too.

I'm also gay. Undoubtedly gay. Nobody knows though. They just don't see it. I mean what sort of 14 year old introverted pessimistic, optimist with an with eating disorder and masochistic, sadistic tendencies is gay. Well me I guess. It's quite funny, I mean my circle of friends all talk about how "hot" or "fit" some  of the boys are and I sit their pretending to agree without knowing what the hell they are talking about. I couldn't make my gayness anymore obvious. I wear my t-shirts with the sleeves rolled up. I own a never ending collection of hats that I wear all year round. Oh and a priceless amount of tank tops. It's just so obvious.

Now to me none of that is important right now all I want to know is what "type" of lesbian I am . I enjoy rough sports like rugby, football, basketball but I love wearing makeup. Am I fem or butch. Maybe fem-butch. Doesn't really matter anyway I mean it makes no difference. It's just another thing that distances me from everyone else. I kind of wish people could understand me. But they never have and presumably never will.

Author
I had to write this chapter twice because I accidentally deleted it. Well done me. I hope you enjoyed the first chapter and I will try and update soon. Thanks for reading ^•^