Jasper's Deaf Mate (1) (Rewrite in Progress)

(6) LA PUSH

As I sat in my room, trying to concentrate on reading my novel, I couldn't help but think about Jasper's proposal. I wanted to go with him, I mean, I still do. I just — I just don't understand him, sometimes. His eyes — his stares — his bipolar tendencies. There is something off about him that I cannot put my finger on. My heart wants to go all the way with him, but my head is screaming "danger". How can you decide on anything when both halves of your mind are on different sides? I don't know.

I was not looking forward to Saturday, since Bella wants to go to La Push with her friends and Charlie wants me to accompany her. Well, I believe I know it will be cold, and being around the water will make it worse. I hate the cold, mostly because I get cold easily. It could be sixty degrees Fahrenheit, but it would feel like thirty degrees Fahrenheit. I am very contradicting since I love when it is raining or snowing, but I hate when it is cold.

Bella, on the other hand, had her own reasons for not wanting the weekend to come, which had nothing to do with the cold. Actually, she is happy that it is going to be hotter than normal, even if it's going to be sixty at the maximum. I don't know the exact reasons behind Bella's sadness, but I think it has something to do with Edward.

Friday came faster than usual, and Bella actually had a smile on her face since the sun was sort of out today. I am still shaking in my boots, even though it is sixty-five degrees outside then the usual thirty. I mean I like that it is less cold, but it is still cold.

When we walked into the cafeteria, I notice Bella looking over at the Cullen's table, and her face turned unhappy. The reason for this is pretty obvious, as I glanced over to the Cullen's table to see Rosalie, Alice, Jasper sat talking, heads close together. Edward is not at school today. No wonder she has been feeling down.

At our usual table, everyone was full of our plans for the next day. Mike was animated again, putting a great deal of trust in the local weatherman, who promised sun tomorrow. I'd have to see it to believe it.

At one point during Lunch, I was left alone with Lauren, another friend of Jessica and Angela. I guess they assumed that I would not understand being deaf in all, because they were talking about me. Lauren said to Mike, "Look... dumb deaf girl over there. She... forced on us, and we... punished... you noticed... teachers speak... slower... special needs girl... dumb to understand anything." They probably don't realize that I can read lips. It's exhausting and difficult, but I can do it. Before Matt could answer back, I stood up to find where Bella was, so we could get to Biology. During these times, I remember why I hate hearing schools.

That night at dinner, dad seemed unusually enthusiastic about our trip to la push, tomorrow. Of course, he knew all the names of the kids going, and their parents, and their grand-parents. He seemed to approve. I wonder if he would approve of me going to the dance with Jasper Hale. Not that I was going to get the courage to tell him.

'Dad, do you know a place called Goat Rocks or something like that? I think it's south of Mount Rainier,' Bella said casually.

"Yeah — why?" Dad asked.

She shrugged. 'Some kids were talking about camping there.'

"It's not a very good place for camping." He looked surprised. "Too many bears. Most people go there during the hunting season."

'Oh,' Bella murmured. 'Maybe I got the name wrong.'

I meant to sleep in, but an unusual brightness woke me. I opened my eyes to see a clear yellow light streaming through my window. I couldn't believe it. I hurried to the window to check, and sure enough, there was the sun. It was in the wrong place in the sky, too low, and it didn't seem to be as closes it should be, but it was definitely the sun. Clouds ringed the horizon, but a large patch of blue was visible in the middle. I lingered by the window as long as I could before Bella pulled me away from the window to get dressed for the day in my usual grey cardigan, simple white dress that just passes my butt, black stockings, and brown combat boots.