Guts Over Fear ◇ NIKITA

Leave Me to My Own Devices

Alys stirred as she woke, feeling the weight of someone's eyes on her. Opening her own, she didn't have to look very far, as Nikita was crouched at her bedside, a smile on her lips. "Some people might say you're creepy if they knew you watched people sleep," Alys sleepily muttered, blinking slowly. Nikita laughed and shifted her weight, but all the blonde wanted was for Nikita to lay beside her.

"You seem to be taking it very well." Alys smiled and took a slow breath.

"Only because I'm used to it," she countered. Nikita must've seen her green eyes size up the empty space of the matress before darting back to her and comparing, because she laid beside Alys without either having to speak. When Nikita relaxed, Alys quickly wrapped her arms around her back and rested her head on Nikita's chest. When she closed her eyes, all the storms inside her ceased.

It was quiet; that sort of quiet that made you relax, ease into it. Though in this case, she only eased into Nikita's embrace, thanking the heavens above that Nikita couldn't hear her eratic heartbeat. It had been so long since they had last been this close and unbothered by anyone. But, as always, Nikita couldn't take the silence for long. "I don't care if you don't want my help, I'll do it anyways," she murmured with determination.

"Nikita, please," Alys sighed, understanding that Nikita was just too strong willed to let it go. "I don't want to think about that right now." With a deep breath, she closed her eyes and relaxed further into Nikita.

"Will at least tell me why you can't stay?" With a loud exhale, Alys thought up the most truthful answer she could.

"There's a project I'm working on with Birkhoff, I need to get back to it soon," she explained slowly. "He needs me." But in reality, it was reversed. If not for Birkhoff, Alys would have caved under Amanda's thumb years ago. Without his help, she wouldn't even be here with Nikita.

"Why do I have a feeling that isn't the actual reason?" Alys stayed silent, pondering over what to say next. Before she could speak, Nikita beat her to it. "You know, I will help you with absolutely anything, whatever it may be. I can help." Alys released a soft breath as she smiled, finally looking up at Nikita.

"I used to think as long as I had you, I could solve all my problems," she admitted, her smile turning sad. "But since then, I've learned that there are some things I have to do without you, Niki. This being one of them."

"I don't even know what this is, though, Alys," Nikita sighed, her impatience beginning to grow.

"Unless you've successfully completed nuerosurgery, you can't help me, Nikita," the blonde assured sternly. "Please, I've already considered my options and the only logical one is to return to Division." Alys could feel Nikita stiffen beneath her, and the blonde held her breath, knowing that she might have just given her another reason to take Division down - another reason to go out and be reckless.

Alys cursed under her breath, but she was cut off, her voice getting drowned out by Nikita's as she spoke up. "Are you trying to tell me that there's - there's a--"

Alys touched the back of her neck, brushing her fingers over the subtly scarred skin before letting a long awaited breath out. "Yeah, and this is why you need to not do anything about it."

Alys was one of Nikita's weaknesses, and it was proof to anyone who knew her that whenever Alys would be in any sort of trouble that Nikita would lose all source of patience, any source of kindness. She turned into the person Division created when Alys's life was threatened. Michael knew this as well, of course he knew this. Nikita knew this - she knew she wasn't the most reasonable when Alys was caught in the crossfire.

That was why Alys didn't want her to get in the way. "Just, let Birkhoff and I handle it. Please." But Nikita's expression was hard and angry, Alys's words going in one ear and out the other. She quickly sat up and held Nikita's arms, her green eyes equally as hard. "Niki, we have it under control. We're neutralizing the threat at our own pace. Tell me you understand that."