Guts Over Fear ◇ NIKITA

Bellyache

When Alys returned to her room from her visit with Amanda, she threw up. She felt like her sins from her previous mission were being purged through her, reminding her of all the havoc she had caused in her lifetime. It was only when she glanced at her calender that the true sickness settled in, though.

It was a small, pocket sized calender that she wrote down any relivancies in, the fact that her period was a week late had her gagging again. In her time with Noah, she hadn't invested in birth control, she was usually careful enough on her own to prevent such scares. This time, however, was not the case.

Everything in Alys was screaming for her to verify, to see if she really was pregnant, but it was late. All of Division was settling after a Code Black, if she went in there, all finnicky and emotional, she'd only bring unwanted attention to herself. That'd definetly give Percy a reason to cancel her. She could resume work tomorrow, all she had to do was wait.

Alys had dealt with nausea and insomnia before, both being side affects of the Ritalin she used to take, but the combination now was different. She had a cold sweat going on, her breathing was following an irregular pattern, and she couldn't keep her hands off her stomach. "Does this mean I might be a dad?" Alys flinched and squeezed her eyes shut, inching herself away from the sound of Noah's voice. "Cher, why are you crying?"

His hands were on her face, his thumbs brushing away the tears slipping from her closed eyes. "If there is a..." She couldn't bring herself to say it, the title of the possible entity within unknown to her vocabulary. "I...I can't have it..."

"Alys, baby, what do you mean?" She forced her bloodshot eyes open, fatter tears now allowed to pour down her cheeks. He looked desperate, like a starving animal that she was dangling a scrap of meat in front of; she could feel the words tear a whole in her chest as she thought them out.

"The minute I start showing, they'll kill me... If they even think for a second--" Alys started hyperventilating, unable to do more than gasp and sob. "I can't have it, Noah. I can't! I have... I have to get--get rid of it." With a deep breath, he sat back with a sad expression, a bit of disappointment in his eyes.

"I understand," he nodded, his voice small.

"I don't like it either," she rasped, her nails dragging across her chest. "I'd give anything to have another piece of you..." Forcing her hands to relax before laying flat on her back, Alys closed her eyes and kept her hands away from her chest, as hard as it was. It wasn't long before Noah laid his head on her stomach, his fingers gently crawling under her shirt, Alys's fingers instinctively combing through his curls.

"It's my fault, really," he mumbled after a while, a smile evident in his voice, though it wasn't very big. "I'm the one who couldn't keep a cork in it." The blonde scoffed, wanting to laugh but unable to produce it.

"It doesn't count when you're not real," she mumbled, the light weight on her stomach gone moments before she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

◇

Alys sat at her computer, a jolly rancher in her mouth as she stuck herself with the needle connected to a short tube that quickly filled itself with her blood. After the connected cylindrical tube was sufficiently filled, she removed the needle carefully under a piece of gauze and let the excess blood evactuate there, cautiously bending her arm so she held everything in place as she prepped the small circular band-aid with a small glob of polysporin.

With quick, practised hand movements, Alys detached the vial and set it down, grabbed the needle with the gauze and threw them both in the biohazard box, and put the band-aid on her inner elbow with little to no hassle. Grabbing the vial of still-warm blood, she put it into the centrifuge for processing. It only took a couple minutes, and every now and again her eyes would dart from the timer, to the people walking through the hall, back to her computer, staying in a constant cycle.

When the timer went off, Alys switched the cords around so it connected to a small, handheld device, carefully feeding the wire with all the others before setting the device in her lap and looking up to the approaching footsteps. "Hello, Michael," she greeted calmly as he walked into her medbay. "How's your shoulder?"

"Better, thank you." Alys nodded and finished typing something out on the computer, one hand placing the device on the desk before she turned to give him her full attention.

"Did you need anything?" Michael stayed silent as she stared at him, and for a minute she didn't think he actually needed anything and that all he wanted was to interrogate her, but he gave her a smile and she relaxed.

Well. Somewhat relaxed.

"You've gone through a lot lately. Your Reactivation must be a lot of added pressure." Alys slowly nodded, holding her elbow and gently rubbing out the ache. "I just wanted to see how you were taking it all."

"Yeah, I, uh, wasn't expecting that," she admitted softly. "Are you involved with the mission?"

"I will be, to my understanding," Michael nodded. "We'll use the time until then to get you ready for field work again." Alys frowned and sat up straighter.

"You think I've gotten rusty?" she questioned, her tone hurt.

"Alys, it's been three years since you've operated as a Field Agent, it's to help you readjust." With a small smirk, Alys stood and swung her hands to clasp behind her back, carefully concealing a scalpel.

"I'm offended, Michael. You really think so low of me?" Acting as to not catch the attention of a guard who would blow the situation out of porportion, Alys hit his healing shoulder with a flat palm and kicked his leg out from under him, tightly grasping his arm and putting the scalpel to his throat as he held onto her arm as well. "Who was it that told me not to get in a knife fight with a Russian?" she hummed with a light smile.

"Okay, I get your point," he teased, a smirk tilting his lips. He didn't stop there though - Michael wasn't one for letting another teammate get the best of him, especially not Alys after their years of competitive behavior. Just as quickly as he had moved on him, he grabbed her wrist and bent it in such a way that after he got his feet back under himself he was able to spin her around, her back pressed to his chest and her own wrist aimed at her neck. "But I'm the one who taught you how to fight. I still have some moves up my sleeves."

Gently releasing her, Michael took a step back as Alys lowered the scalpel and walked back over to her desk, setting the tool down. "Just remind me, who was the one taught by a world-class ghost?" she asked as she sat back at her desk. "I have a few tricks of my own Michael. Anything else?" She looked over her shoulder and watched him straighten out his blazer.

"The last quarter of your shift has been replaced with training. I'll see you then," he informed before letting himself out. Alys sighed when the door closed, waiting until the hall was clear again to grab her device. The scans were complete; her system was clear of drugs, she was perfectly healthy, but also definetly pregnant. Releasing the device, Alys quickly poured the vial of blood down the sink and washed it away, tossing the vial into the biohazard box as well.

Once the device was unplugged she removed all the data, even from the recovery operations, and reconnected the centrifuge to the proper device before resting her elbows on the desk and hunching until she could hold the back of her head. She closed her eyes and took a slow, tense breath, scanning her brains for the most logical solution. She was at least a month pregnant, so medication was the best option she had, any further along and there might be some complications.

As calmly as she could manage, Alys went to the cupboard and unlocked it, her lightly trembling hands reaching for the bottle labeled Mifepristone. Grabbing one small, yellow pill, she relocked the cupboard and swallowed it dry, not allowing herself a moment of second-guessing. If Amanda wanted a dead baby to reassert her goals, she was going to get it now.