Guts Over Fear ◇ NIKITA

Home Sweet Hell

Alys looked up as Division's elevator opened up and she was faced with the main training floor. It was emptier than usual, but some Recruits were still working out and watched the blonde walk across the room and towards Ops. As she got closer to the room, she could see that Percy was following her movements through the tinted glass, even when she stepped inside. "Alys," he greeted in his falsely polite voice. "How was your little vacation?"

She could feel the eyes of Amanda, Birkhoff, and Michael on her as well, but she kept her focus on the old man in front of her. "Very much needed, thanks," she answered with a frown. "Couldn't really think straight after my head was pumped with all those drugs," she tacked on, her eyes briefly drifting to Amanda before back to Percy.

"Well, I hope your head is clear. Amanda's recomended your cancelation." The air in the room tensed, as if everyone collectively clenched their buttcheeks and the result was the heavy tension. "However, I may be inclined to ignore that suggestion," Percy informed with his shit-eating smirk.

"I'm not a Recruit anymore, and our little 'session' proved I wasn't hiding anything. I was overwhelmed to begin with and being drugged really didn't help. For the safety of myself and others, I took a leave of absence," Alys carefully explained, trying not to let her breathing get the best of her.

"Yes, well, I may have some reason to believe otherwise," he followed up with, quirking his eyebrows in slight amusement. Alys paled, unsure of what he could possibly have. Her eyes went to Birkhoff who looked just as terrified as she did, just as clueless. "Don't look so frightened," Percy chuckled, "I said I may. But, as of now, I have no reason to cancel you. You're still useful to our cause. Welcome back."

With a tightlipped smile, Percy stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked out of Ops. Alys looked at Amanda with a sarcastic smile, her anger clear in her foresty irises. "Thanks for believing in me. Really makes me wannna stick to the rules." Glancing briefly over the shocked duo of Michael and Birkhoff, Alys turned on her heel and left the room, heading straight for her room.

Once there, she sat on her bed with her back against the wall, pushing her hair out of her face and releasing a deep breath. "This is why you didn't want me involved with you," Noah realized aloud, making the blonde open her eyes. He was sitting crosslegged in front of her, his frown sympathetic. On good days she remembered every detail of his face, on bad days she had a hard time determining even it's shape.

"Yes," she quietly admitted, wanting to look at him more than talk. "I don't get paid vacation." Alys's heart fluttered when he laughed, she didn't think she'd hear it again. Then again, she really wasn't hearing it - this was all just in her head. It wasn't real. And the more she tried to make herself remember some other good thing about him, the more he began to fade, her mind unable to hold the image. She released a shaky breath, starting to regret not taking Nikita's out.

Grabbing her inhaler and took a pump, a knock sounded on the door before it had even left her lips. "It's open," she softly called. She was surprised when Michael stuck his head in the door with a polite, half-smile.

Alys was sprawled out on the mat, panting desperately for air as Division's trainer, Wade, stood over her, getting ready to lecture her again. "Protect your head," he ordered, "and get off my mat." Carefully peeling her sweaty back off the surface as to not overwork her lungs, she slowly started pushing herself back away from him, some of the other Recruits watched her pathetic attempt to fight and laughed.

She hadn't gotten very far before a pair of strong hands grabbed her under the arms and pulled her the rest of the way off the grey cushion. When they sat her upright and took a place beside her, she turned her blurry eyes to her left and found Michael there.

"How're you doing, Alys?" he asked, his hand stuffed in his pocket as he leaned the other shoulder against the wall.

"Hurting, mostly," she admitted quietly. "What do you want?"

His head hung slightly at her failed attempt to sound kind. "I was just worried," he lifted one shoulder up, before dropping it. His gaze was fixed on her, a sad sympathetic smile in place of that hardened downpull of his lips. "I'm glad you, you know, didn't get canceled."

Her head lifted at that, smiling ever so slightly at the man. "Me too."

"If you want to survive this place, you have to learn how to defend yourself, to protect your weaknesses," Michael instructed, standing across from Alys on the mat.

"Why are you helping me?" she asked with a frown, covering her pale and bruised abdomen with her arm. Her British accent was intact and strong, hiding all she could about her true nationality.

"Because I can't stand to sit by and watch as you throw your life away," he countered sternly, causing Alys's frown to deepen.

"Where did you go?" Michael asked curiously.

"For a really, really long drive," Alys chuckled. "Saw some sights."

She saw the corners of his lips twitch slightly, nostalgically. "A certain...ex-agent happen to be one of the sights?"

"No, not this time. I wanted to be by myself for a few days, do some soul searching, that kind of stuff," Alys dismissed. In order to protect herself, she looked away and shrunk her posture. "I had to keep myself from going off the deep end..." Michael frowned and walked over to her, squatting at the end of her bed. He knew about her old Ritalin addiction, knew that she had dabbled in other things, but he didn't know that she had stayed clean since her last fallout.

"Did you relapse?" he asked carefully, his eyes full of concern. Alys shook her head but still didn't meet his eye.

"I thought about it, but all my old contacts think I'm dead. Other sources would lead Division right to me." He nodded at that, clearly understanding and also relieved that she hadn't gone on a drug trip. She knew he cared - at least that much. Plus, Michael was just kind in general. He had been since they met. He just hardened with his jealousy for Nikita. "I didn't want to come back," she added on quietly, watching his expression change from the corner of her eyes. He was serious now, concern and doubt swimming in his blue eyes.

"Well, I'm glad you did." It sounded sort of forced, but then again, she never could really read Michael. Not like Nikita could.

"Thanks, I guess," Alys muttered, bringing her knees up to hug to her chest.

"If you hadn't, I'd have to take an Alpha Team to come find you," he pointed out. But I'd be away from this place, and with Nikita... "It's better for everyone that you did."