Shattered

Mom

I didn't want to believe it. Was this a dream? Or should I say nightmare? Because this is the most scared I've ever been. I wanted to believe this was a joke. But what kind if a father would tell his daughter his mother is in the hospital as a joke?! Defiantly not mine. Every minute that we sped down the highway felt like hours. It didn't take long to get there, but it felt like it took a week. Sick patients dotted the room. It felt as if we were waiting in there for hours until they called us in. A tall lady in a white coat lead us into a small white room. The room was completely bland. No posters, no paintings. Just a blank white wall. Chairs lined the side of the room and a small coffee table sat in the middle, stacked with magazines and coloring books. This room scared me. Why couldn't they take us right to her? We've already waited why did they take us to another waiting room? I'm sick of waiting! The tall women asked us to sit. I began to sweat like crazy. I've never been more worried. My heart began pounding against my chest. All she did was ask us to sit! Christina calm down! I thought to myself. I did as told and took a seat.

The women crouched down and met my gaze. "Now honey, I need you to stay here for a sec while I talk to your dad okay?" She said in a sweet, cheery voice. She placed her hand on mine. "Don't worry honey, everything is going to be alright. I promise," she whispered as she stared into my eyes. I began to tear up. I couldn't believe what was happening. "Why don't you look at some magazines while I talk to your dad, okay?" I ignored her fake smile. Thoughts raced through my head like crazy, what's going on? Where's my mother?!

The women walked out of the room, followed by my father. They were right outside the door. I wanted to eavesdrop but I couldn't do it. I buried my head in the seat and tried to block out any bad thoughts. Mom isn't hurt bad, she'll be fine, everything's going to be fine....

All of a sudden, the door slowly creeped open. My dad entered. His eyes were red and tears stained his face. At that moment, I knew. My beautiful, strong, courageous and caring mother...was dead.

Dad pulled me into his arms. We held each other close for the longest time. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. Crying wouldn't express what I'm feeling right now. It's as if my heart literally shattered. I kept pinching and pinching myself to make sure this wasn't a dream. It wasn't. It took my dad an hour to finally choke out some words.

"Look, it's going to be okay Chris. We can do this. We have each other," he said, choking back tears.

I grabbed his hand tight, and we walked out of the hospital. This couldn't be happening. This SHOULDN'T be happening. We don't deserve this. I don't deserve this. She's my everything. I'm only 14 why now?! Why? That's all I could think at this point was why? Why, why, why, why, why, why, WHY?! We piled into the car and drove home. We didn't say a word to each other the whole way there.

When we arrived home I crawled into bed and slept. I know this can't be happening, I'm just having a nightmare. It's not happening, it's not happening, it's not.....