Two Is Company

Harry Potter and The Power Couple That Could Have Been

A/N: I won't be doing a review of Book 1, so I'll just be talking about random stuff. And while I referenced minor parts/people from other books, this is mainly about the first book and the houses, regardless of what happened next in future books.

Please feel free to share your thoughts, it doesn't matter if it's different from Camren's opinions -- that's the point of this entire fic, to have a variety of good discussions. Otherwise, what's the point of continuing this?

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"Look, all I'm saying is," Lauren continues what she's been trying to say before she's been interrupted by the waitress serving them their food, "it's obvious that he can write -- he sent a letter to Dumbledore the first scene we've met him -- and he got to like what, third year, right?"

"Yeah, before he was expelled," Camila nods as she bites into her pizza.

"Right. So why the hell couldn't Hagrid spell Voldemort?" Lauren scoffs. "It's literally spelled how you fucking say it! Vol-de-mort!"

Camila shakes her head and stares at Lauren. She always gets so overly passionate when they talk about Harry Potter, and she can already sense they're gonna be talking about this the whole afternoon. She doesn't mind, though. As long as she gets free pizza. Plus, she likes listening to Lauren speak.

"Maybe he simply didn't wanna write it down because he was just too tired to look for his quill and paper in that exact moment -- I mean he does have a lot of pockets, it must be so exhausting searching for his keys in there." Camila gulps down her iced tea.

Lauren shrugs, not entirely convinced of Camila's theory. "I just found it weird, that's all."

"I have questions," Camila raises a finger as if waiting for her teacher to call her.

"Okay, what."

"One, why do you hate Gryffindor?"

"I don't hate the house, I just think Gryffindors are so overrated."

"Hipster." Camila rolls her eyes.

"Okay, look... put yourself in a Slytherin's shoes --"

"Ew! That's unhygienic," Camila interjects.

Lauren gives her an expressionless stare. "Don't be such a troll."

"A mountain troll?"

"Yeah you smell like one," Lauren says.

Camila sticks her tongue out. "Fine! Go on, then. Bore me with your whole 'Slytherins are misunderstood' speech," Camila makes sarcastic air quotes with her greasy fingers. "Not promising you I'll swallow every word you say, though."

"Why don't you worry about swallowing your food properly? Choking isn't really an attractive hobby."

"You're such a Slytherin," Camila shakes her head.

"And by that you mean...?"

"It means you're such a bully."

"And that's my point! People hear Slytherin, they automatically think bullies. Did you ever stop to think that Gryffindors are bigger bullies? James Potter, Sirius Black, even the twins are borderline bullies --"