Freeform Struggles

Tired

I lay
Tired
But awake

Helpless
What do I do?
So tired

Missing what I had
Missing what I didn't have
Wishing things were different
What can I do?

A childhood I didn't have
Friends that turned against me
New friends that are here
But sometimes I feel like
They don't really know me

A rational part of me says
Girl, calm down
They do know you
And they accept you

But I can't help but remember
They aren't like me
They might accept
But they don't understand

The feeling of not belonging
A constant
Always there

I know I have friends
But still
I feel alone

Personalities so different
I love them, I do!
With all my heart!

But sometimes
It's hard to keep up
It's hard to smile and pretend

Still tired

A wish
For someone to understand
Someone I can lean on

I already asked for that once
God gave me what I needed
She's the best
But she still doesn't understand

Is it my fate to endure alone?
Or is it just a trial?

If so
When does it end?