The moment i fully moved on, everyone suddenly became too attractive. Realization hit me hard that maybe love does blind us all. Once i bet my heart on the table, i spent my days orbiting around him and him only.
Thoughts about him. Poems about him. Sincere acts for him. A sharp pair of ears to listen to him.
I made analogies about him and me, of which i am a lowly earth and him being the cloud up high. My days were filled with fear of rejection and nagging insecurity, combined with fluttery feelings on my stomach and warm blushes on my cheeks. I got so invested in creating hopes for things that don't exist in the first place. The journey to let him go was a damn long one, filled with silent tears and piercing jealousy. The pain was worth it, though. I finnaly can see him as a friend who once touched my heart and influenced me to be a better version of myself.
Since that day, i see him with a different light. He wasn't that perfect, so why bother crying for the lost?
I see others in a new light as well, and it makes me wonder just where had been all this time. I recently noticed the beauty in everyone. The velvet nuance of my friend's baritone voices as he talks about aviation. The passionate thumping rythm that excites the audience as my friend performed with his drum on stage.
The sincere smile on that basketball player's lips when he greets me as an old friend does. The curious questions from a working partner about my writing habit and the reason behind my pen name. Maybe i failed to make that one guy fall in love with me, but that's not a guarantee that i will never find somebody to love.
Fallin'
