soundless (Dorbyn)

ch.3

'Daniel's POV'

My body was being shaken gently,waking me up after I must have caried myself to sleep the night before. I rolled over to see my mom looking at me sadly before running her thumbs over my puffy under eyes.

"You didn't tell him that you couldn't hear did you?" She signed to me I shook my head and a whole new set of sobs wracked my body. Her arms wrapped around me not even a second later. I could feel her chest vibrating. So I knew she was telling me something to sooth me. I stopped crying and took a few deep breaths before pulling back to look at her.

"Corbyn is nice, but he probably won't like me after he finds out I can't actually hear him. I can read lips so easily, so I didn't want to tell him that I couldn't hear!" I told my mom frantically she nodded to me before placing her hands on my cheeks to clam me down.

"You have your first treatment today, but please don't hide the fact that you can't hear until you can hear. You have to be honest with Corbyn if you want him to be your friend you know that, Daniel." My mom signed to me. I nodded and thought about the fact I had to go through some type of treatment step up until I can get the procedure done. I wish I could get it done with now then pretend like I was never deaf and then Corbyn would be my friend. I know my mom said not to do that, but I just don't want to be here alone. He asked me to hang out with him, and I don't want to ruin him being my friend because I'm Retarded.

My mom left me to get ready for the four hour drive to the doctor. I just put on some sweats and a t-shirt before opening my curtains to let the light in for the rest of the day, even though I wouldn't be here. When I pulled them back, Immediately turned bright red as I saw Corbyn rushing around his boxers. He was throwing on clothes as fast as he can while stuffing pappers and books into his backpack. I caught a glimpse of his tattoos on his chest and on the back of his neck before I realized this was so wrong to be watching the half naked boy in his room. I guess he still had to get used to closing his curtains, but if he never does learn how I think I'm fine with that too.

I walked out of our house to where my mom was waiting in the car for me. I looked over and saw Corbyn running to get into his car before driving off down the road. I smiled because he seems like he would be calm and cool, but I think he's just flustered mess. I got into my own car and buckled up before leaning my head against the window as we drove off.

I'm not sure how many treatments I have to get before the actual surgery, but all I know is driving back and forth between is going to be annoying really fast, But money was already short for us because of the last treatment I went through to try and get my hearing fixed. Those doctors tried allot of the things, but they came up with the solution it was more my brain than my ears and they couldn't help me. It was a waste of money for our family because in the end nothing fixed for me and I'm still living in a silent world.

I must have fallen asleep for the rest of the drive because my mom pat my leg to wake me up when we got to the hearing treatment center. I got out of the car and waiting by my door until she came over and guided me through the busy car park. That's how things have always worked since I could remember. No matter how much I looked around myself or how closely I try to feel something coming close to me. It's still dangerous for me to walk through a car park alone. That's also why I can't drive, Stay home alone, cook alone or go shopping alone. I need to hear my surroundings for all of those things.

There is always the same answer that people think you get used to being deaf and learn new ways to keep yourself safe. Really, those are all lies. I've been this way my whole life and never have I gotten used to looking over my shoulder every four seconds to make sure I'm not going to get hit by a car or get kidnapped or have some one break into our house. I depend on smell as much as a blind person does and I depend on feeling people looking at the same as them too. The only thing is I'll never know if the smoke alarm is going off to wake me in the middle of the night so I don't burn to death or knowing if our security alarm is going off ic there is an intruder. It's not possible for me to stay safe and have my own independence.