Uhhh i know this is from teen wolf. Sadly. God its such a shit show, but it reminded me of Lance so uhhhhh yeah.
Lance had been way down in the dumps. He hadn't been sleeping or eating much.
Shiro was beginning to worry so he made his way to Lance's room, a plate of whatever Hunk gave him in his hands.
He knocks and waits for the door to slide open. It takes a moment but it slides to the side, allowing Shiro entry.
"Hey, I brought you some food. Thought you might like some company. Someone to talk to?"
"Yeah I guess, but you didn't have to bring food. I'm not hungry." he mutters, toying with the sleeves of his jacket, pulling them over his hands.
Shiro sighs and sits the plate on Lance's dresser before sitting on the bed.
"Talk to me, you've been pushing every one away." Shiro says softly, hand intertwining with one of Lance's.
"You know when you're drowning you don't actually inhale until right before you black out."
Shiro stays quiet as Lance pauses.
Lance's thoughts swirling like a storm.
"The instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won't open your mouth until you feel like your head is exploding."
"Then when you do let it in. That's when it stops hurting."
Lance pauses, breathing shakily. Before Shiro has the chance to ask
"I'm fine." Lance smiles.
"Aside from the not sleeping. The jumpiness. The constant overwhelming fear that something terrible is about to happen."
"Its called hypervigilance." Shiro speaks up.
"The persistent feeling of being under threat."
"Its not just a feeling though. It's- its like a panic attack. You know like I can't even breathe." Lance mutters.
"Like you're drowning?"
"Yeah."
"So...if you're drowning and you're trying to keep your mouth closed until that very. last. moment. What if you choose not to open your mouth?" Shiro places a kiss to Lance's knuckles.
"To not let the water in."
"You do anyways. Its a reflex."
"But if you hold off until that reflex kicks in you'd have more time right?" Shiro mumbles, eyes meeting Lance's.
"Not much time." Lance avoids Shiro's gaze, turning his head to look at the wall.
"But more time to fight your way to the surface."
"I guess."
"More time to be rescued."
"More time to be in agonising pain. Did you forget the part where you feel like your head's exploding?"
"If its about survival...isn't a little agony worth it?"
"What if it just gets worse? What if its agony now and then...then it's just hell later on?"
"Then it's hell, Lance and you fight to be alive. You fight your way out until you find your sliver of hope and light. You keep going." Shiro whispers, voice breaking, tears finally running down his cheeks.
Lance's eyes go wide at the sound of Shiro crying, his heart drops and tears flow. He sobs and wraps his arms around Shiro, hissing slightly when his wrists collide with Shiro's sides.
They sit there for a while, holding each other, crying, whispering.
They eventually cry themselves out and to sleep.
When Shiro wakes, he's happy to see Lance sound asleep, a small smile on his face, despite the dried tears.
"I love you." he whispers and holds Lance closer.
Ayyyyu last part was improvised Oof hope you enjoyed.
