18 | saudade

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18 | saudade
a longing for someone you love but have lost

dedicated to everyone

dedicated to everyone

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two and a half years later

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two and a half years later


"I CANNOT BELIEVE that you got a fucking 2:1!" Hannah exclaimed as she ran over to me, crushing me with the biggest hug she could muster. "I'm so proud of you, Cor!"

"I'm as surprised as you are," I laughed as I hugged my best friend back, smile so wide my cheeks were beginning to hurt. "Says you, you got a first! What the fuck!"

I continued to hug the girl in closer, our graduation hats bumping together before we eventually pulled away. My eyes landed on her beautiful brown ones, eyelashes coated in a light layer of mascara. Hannah rarely wore make up because she simply didn't need to, but a big event like graduation had her pulling out all the stops. A deep ruby pigment stained her full lips, and she had brushed a little colour to her cheeks with some blush. She looked absolutely breathtaking - even I held my breath every time I glanced at her, marvelling the incredible woman she had become.

The graduation ceremony had been long and tedious, but I had finally been called to accept my certificate: proof that I had a degree in Ancient History. The sun had decided to shine today, light cascading onto the small green area we had retreated to after the ceremony for pictures. The space was an open field, bordered by trees and a selection of wild flowers. They grey blue, purple, white, entwined with the emerald of leaves and stems. Their scent filled the July air, fresh and sweet.

"I'm so proud of you two," a rich German accent muttered from behind us, before an arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me into yet another embrace. The woman kissed me on the cheek before letting go, and I smiled the biggest smile I ever had. It was times like these that I was simply happy - I was not worrying about exams, or my ex, or the constant feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was amiss.

"Thank you, Mama," I replied, and turned around to face her.

I had never seen Anne Hawk so alive. She wore a red floral dress that I had picked out for her in the Zara sale, and her tanned skin glowed radiantly in the sun. Freckles dotted the bridge of her nose, and her hazel eyes were constantly gazing around the venue in awe, taking in every single nook and cranny. She had only been to London three times in her life, and the city still amazed her. She had lived in England for thirty years, and was still surprised when it rained.

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