The End Of Forever

Starting To Rebuild

Little did I know how much my life had fallen apart, even before my dad left. I started seeing a therapist, and they told me that before we talk about my dad, we're going to talk about my life before. I told her that my life was pretty good before everything. I was popular, and I had good grades. Well, I also told her about two years ago, when I was dumped by the boyfriend I had for three years. He wanted to be more intimate than I wanted to be so he cheated on me, with the prettiest girl in the school. I heard roomers and confronted him about it and he dumped me for asking if he was cheating on me, a year later they got married! They were 18 when I got dumped but, still, marring at 19 years old? 

After that I started finding every little thing wrong with me, how I didn't wear a ton of makeup, I do now, how I wore cloths that fully covered me, I started wearing belly shirts, and mini skirts, short shorts, anything. I started going to all the parties even drinking when everyone else was. I would go home at mid-night not being able to walk straight, my parents started worrying about me. They sat down with me and told me what they saw as what was going on and I told them my side. I never told them why I did anything that I was doing, but I told them that I was changing to become more me and free.

My therapist told me that I had my heart broken and that It resulted in severe depression and that I should've told someone what was happening when it was happening, instead of putting myself down like that. I told her that I was afraid of what would happen if I didn't just let myself do what I was doing, I was afraid that I would become so depressed that I would just jump off my balcony. Beth (my therapist) told me that doing the drugs and drinking was not a smart choice but she was glad that I didn't jump off my balcony. The hour that we had together was over and so I went out and drove home, thinking of what we would do next time we talked next week. What will we talk about? When will I have to face that fact that I have therapy to talk about everything with my dad?